I love to pretend that I'm stupid; I love to lead people to believe I truly don't understand a majority of all things spoken or conceived. My love for this can partially be blamed on laziness because for the most part, people won't expect anything out of you if they think you're stupid. I won't be dragged into "intellectual conversations" that will inevitably go nowhere, or asked to talk about politics. I generally employ this portrayal of stupidity in cases that I'm not necessarily worried the person will fall for it. I would say I do it around people I don't care about, but that's not particularly true.
It can often lead to a problem, in that I only hold to this practice for a certain amount of time until I'm fairly comfortable with someone. Then, when I try to show that I am in fact not as dumb as I like to play, they don't buy it. I become the girl who cried brainless. Most of the time, it doesn't bother me too much, but when I try my hardest to convince someone that I am in fact not a complete ditz (very choice words here because I can be ditsy) and they still don't believe me, it gets me. I think it's because I fear they won't respect me if they don't discover it's an act that stems from my initial shy side. It rears its ugly head when that one intellectual conversation worms its way in, and my points are dubbed invalid because I've painted myself as a non-thinker when I am in fact the opposite.
It's funny because I bring it upon myself; I could filter the things that try to come out of my mouth, the stupid thoughts that are meant to remain only to my knowledge. I don't. It's amusing, because I know that everyone has stupid thoughts and some people are just too proud to voice them. Me, I enjoy the looks on faces, and the reactions to those little whims. It is a great joy of life to make someone think about something in an attempt to understand it, especially when it is a thought sailing through your mind that even you can't quite explain. (A quote comes to mind "I am 2 messages away from bridging the gap to redundancy." - what can I say? I have near-profound thoughts when I'm half asleep.)
I think it's almost a feat of bravery, to expel so many wily ideas for the world to chew up and spit out. Plus, life is short and I like being silly; so let them judge me, or let them accept me.
