There's an aching tightness in my chest,
And I can't seem to find rest,
Closed eyes, deep breaths,
Each hour full of minute deaths,
Must I die to all my dreams,
Is this the only way?
-It seems,
To get through another broken day,
At the end of which there's nothing to say,
But just lay my head down,
And try not to drown,
In the swirling sea of worries,
That thrashes over my head,
A sudden flash of lightning dread,
I toss and turn,
For a peace,
I yearn,
But none befalls me,
Only fate unknown,
Beckons and calls me.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Ok
What kind of things get lost,
When friendship becomes the cost,
From one thing to the next,
It's all been indexed,
From most important to least,
At the bottom is love that's decreased,
And how did this,
Fall into the wrong hands,
And how can we,
Know where any of this stands,
In the midst of a fire-fight,
We'll never tell who's right,
Even if it takes all night,
Oh but to walk away,
Is like having nothing left to say,
And staring it in the face,
Silent,
Never thought,
It'd pull us apart,
When we were attached at the heart,
Or maybe I was deceived,
And you were relieved,
Cause ain't that the way it goes?
One side stops loving,
A while before it shows,
When you had no one else,
I was there,
But now it seems that you just don't care,
And so I'll walk away,
Walk away,
And hope someday,
My heart will heal,
So that I may feel,
Ok.
When friendship becomes the cost,
From one thing to the next,
It's all been indexed,
From most important to least,
At the bottom is love that's decreased,
And how did this,
Fall into the wrong hands,
And how can we,
Know where any of this stands,
In the midst of a fire-fight,
We'll never tell who's right,
Even if it takes all night,
Oh but to walk away,
Is like having nothing left to say,
And staring it in the face,
Silent,
Never thought,
It'd pull us apart,
When we were attached at the heart,
Or maybe I was deceived,
And you were relieved,
Cause ain't that the way it goes?
One side stops loving,
A while before it shows,
When you had no one else,
I was there,
But now it seems that you just don't care,
And so I'll walk away,
Walk away,
And hope someday,
My heart will heal,
So that I may feel,
Ok.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Pieces
I hate myself for it,
It's my own brand of failure,
How can I ignore it?
I'm stuck here thinking,
What do I do now,
And is there any way,
That I can fix things,
And How?
Disappointment and regret overtake me,
Who knew something so simple could break me,
What does this mean now,
For the future,
Is there such thing as a broken life suture?
I'm not the type to give up,
But when the road is blocked,
Is there any way to feel but rocked?
It's my own brand of failure,
How can I ignore it?
I'm stuck here thinking,
What do I do now,
And is there any way,
That I can fix things,
And How?
Disappointment and regret overtake me,
Who knew something so simple could break me,
What does this mean now,
For the future,
Is there such thing as a broken life suture?
I'm not the type to give up,
But when the road is blocked,
Is there any way to feel but rocked?
Monday, December 21, 2009
Surviving the Fire
So funny story:
Today, I was at my favorite Dunn Brothers, killing time because I went to church, and wanted to go to the 7pm service they have once a month, as well. I didn't want to drive all the way home, so I just sat there and journaled, and had approximately 5 cups of coffee, and 5 potty breaks.
When I was getting a refill, the guys working there were talking about Nebuchadnezzar. The one asked me if I knew the story, I said kind of and that I should. I asked why they were talking about him, and he said "You know, the Matrix." Not the Nebuchadnezzar I was thinking of, which I told them. He then said, it's a biblical story too. So I asked him if he knew what happened in it, because I couldn't for the life of me remember. He said all he remembered was "it was all fire and brimstone."
Naturally, with time to kill, I googled Nebuchadnezzar. I found which chapters of the bible his story was featured in, and then went to biblegateway.com. I read it, it was the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego (spellings, probably incorrect). I felt dumb for forgetting this, and kind of skimmed the story, because I remembered the essence of it. Particularly, I caught this line:
"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us..." Daniel 3:17
That was that. I just felt stupid for forgetting one of those stories you learn a billion times in sunday school, - practically every other week, what kind of former-Lutheran am I?
Then, at 7pm, I went to Breakthrough. The worship service. At the end, there's this kind of open prayer time. And there were only a total of 9 of us there, including 1 sound person, 5 worship band members, and the 3 rest of us. The only guy of us audience members, so to speak, brought up the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. He said it was something from his devotional this week, and that it might apply to someone else.
He talked about how they say even if God were not to save them, they would still follow His will and go into the fire, not bow to the idol.
While he was talking about it, I was half-listening, and the other half thinking about how strange it was that I looked up that story today. Some story, I should've already known, hadn't read in years, probably, and then things just lined up.
Then I thought about how much of a parallel that story was to my life this year. This year has had the most challenges I have faced yet. This year has been unbelievably difficult; threw me things I did not expect, and probably would've hid from had I known they were to come.
I faced so much fire this year, and walked through it all trying to pursue God even though more often than not, things were difficult. Less than what the guy was talking about in the men being faithful to God, for me it was more of a realization of how faithful God was to me! How when the world and people in it failed me repeatedly, God didn't; He was the only thing I had to lean on.
Now, looking at the remnants of this year, I see how faithful God has been to me. How He helped me through all that fire.
This may seem cheesy, and all too narrative and thought out, but really, it was like a revelation for me. It made all that pain seem not for waste. Not to mention trust in God's goodness, strengthened.
Simply because of king with a goofy and difficult-to-spell name.
Today, I was at my favorite Dunn Brothers, killing time because I went to church, and wanted to go to the 7pm service they have once a month, as well. I didn't want to drive all the way home, so I just sat there and journaled, and had approximately 5 cups of coffee, and 5 potty breaks.
When I was getting a refill, the guys working there were talking about Nebuchadnezzar. The one asked me if I knew the story, I said kind of and that I should. I asked why they were talking about him, and he said "You know, the Matrix." Not the Nebuchadnezzar I was thinking of, which I told them. He then said, it's a biblical story too. So I asked him if he knew what happened in it, because I couldn't for the life of me remember. He said all he remembered was "it was all fire and brimstone."
Naturally, with time to kill, I googled Nebuchadnezzar. I found which chapters of the bible his story was featured in, and then went to biblegateway.com. I read it, it was the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego (spellings, probably incorrect). I felt dumb for forgetting this, and kind of skimmed the story, because I remembered the essence of it. Particularly, I caught this line:
"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us..." Daniel 3:17
That was that. I just felt stupid for forgetting one of those stories you learn a billion times in sunday school, - practically every other week, what kind of former-Lutheran am I?
Then, at 7pm, I went to Breakthrough. The worship service. At the end, there's this kind of open prayer time. And there were only a total of 9 of us there, including 1 sound person, 5 worship band members, and the 3 rest of us. The only guy of us audience members, so to speak, brought up the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. He said it was something from his devotional this week, and that it might apply to someone else.
He talked about how they say even if God were not to save them, they would still follow His will and go into the fire, not bow to the idol.
While he was talking about it, I was half-listening, and the other half thinking about how strange it was that I looked up that story today. Some story, I should've already known, hadn't read in years, probably, and then things just lined up.
Then I thought about how much of a parallel that story was to my life this year. This year has had the most challenges I have faced yet. This year has been unbelievably difficult; threw me things I did not expect, and probably would've hid from had I known they were to come.
I faced so much fire this year, and walked through it all trying to pursue God even though more often than not, things were difficult. Less than what the guy was talking about in the men being faithful to God, for me it was more of a realization of how faithful God was to me! How when the world and people in it failed me repeatedly, God didn't; He was the only thing I had to lean on.
Now, looking at the remnants of this year, I see how faithful God has been to me. How He helped me through all that fire.
This may seem cheesy, and all too narrative and thought out, but really, it was like a revelation for me. It made all that pain seem not for waste. Not to mention trust in God's goodness, strengthened.
Simply because of king with a goofy and difficult-to-spell name.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
We are now preparing to switch to auto-pilot...
I feel as of late, and well all the time, as if I've forgotten how to write. I'd say one out of every 7 blog posts I truly like (not including poems, those are a whole different bird).
It's probably just that end of the semester thing where my brain shuts down and I run on an auto-pilot...one of my favorite times of year! (sarcasm; though I like being done with school, I don't like when my brain seems to give up, haha).
It is however, entertaining at times, when I say or do stupid things. That part, I do and do not like. Haha. Usually, upon the first occurrence of some weird thing, I'm horrified, a couple weeks later, I'm laughing it off. It's kind of the way to go, the only way to really make it through life and all the stupid things that happen: laugh about it.
Well, I had to warm myself up to journal, and then I've got some studying to do. Biology, it's going down!!
It's probably just that end of the semester thing where my brain shuts down and I run on an auto-pilot...one of my favorite times of year! (sarcasm; though I like being done with school, I don't like when my brain seems to give up, haha).
It is however, entertaining at times, when I say or do stupid things. That part, I do and do not like. Haha. Usually, upon the first occurrence of some weird thing, I'm horrified, a couple weeks later, I'm laughing it off. It's kind of the way to go, the only way to really make it through life and all the stupid things that happen: laugh about it.
Well, I had to warm myself up to journal, and then I've got some studying to do. Biology, it's going down!!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Just Cuz You Think It, Don't Make It So
This is me taking a stab at music-blogging. I feel like I'm always behind the curve when it comes to what's new and excellent, and so I've been hesitant to do anything like this, but I figure why not just blog about music I like. In Diffusion of Innovation, I am in the early majority, or maybe an early adopter.
At any rate. I am going to attempt this, and maybe form it into a blog.
The Current: My Top 10 Songs Enjoyed, As of Recent
[DISCLAIMER: THE SONGS AREN'T ALL RECENT SONGS, JUST RECENT TOP PLAYS]
1. The Rumble Strips "Girls & Boys in Love"; this tune is pretty irresistible! it's up-beat, even for someone that's single, this song acts as does chocolate; to mimick the euphoria of love.
2. Band of Horses "I Go to the Barn Because I Like The..."; First off, love everything they do. I want to put all their songs on here. Second, this song has a sweet quality about it; a tenderness. Kind of that secret language that couples have, and when they reminisce about their past together, and it kind of makes you sick but you like it...that.
3. Anya Marina "Whatever You Like (cover)"; Not gonna lie, this is a guilty pleasure. I especially like the irony of a woman singing this, and Anya's voice has a sweet quality that adds to the strange wonder of it all. If nothing else, YouTube it.
4. Jose Gonzalez "Down the Line"; the rhythm really emphasizes the element of the impending passage of time, this song is both one you can tap your foot to and fall asleep to. Not to mention lyrics! It's a little repetitive, but that's about the only complaint to be made here.
5. Led Zeppelin "Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You"; hello, amazing song. This song just really gets me going, the guitar...Ugh! Love it. I can definitely be found jamming to this song in my car throughout the metro area, on just about any day that ends in 'y'.
6. Fleet Foxes "Drops in the River"; nothing much to say, but I like this song, after being a little unsure about the Foxes, and now I'm completely intrigued.
7. Beirut "Postcards From Italy"; Here's another cheery little ditty for ya, but this one goes about it in a completely different way than the Strips do w/ "girls and boys". This one has a more nostalgic approach to love, yet it's hopeful. It has more of a notion of continuation, rather than infatuation. Also: ukelele.
8. Rogue Wave "Lake Michigan"; This song has attitude, without being rude. It's blunt, but in such a mesmerizing way that you can't mind. It's also rumored to be an homage to Pink Floyd's "money".
9. Norm Greenbaum "Spirit in the Sky"; the guitar in this song, mmm-mmm! I don't think I will ever stop loving this song. Perfect, classic '69 rock. I can definitely flip this onto repeat for a couple goes.
10. Brand New "Jesus Christ"; this song, though it has a pretty mainstream rock sound (reminds me a lot of Blue October), the music part is not that different to me, but I was really impressed by the lyrics. They seem really well thought out, and the seemingly not extraordinary music blends really well with the words to make an excellent song!
So that's me giving it a shot, I kind of don't care as much about the correctness, etc. of my blogs. So if you don't like what I thought, too bad (though it IS late at night); if you like having the opportunity to read what I thought, let me know!
At any rate. I am going to attempt this, and maybe form it into a blog.
The Current: My Top 10 Songs Enjoyed, As of Recent
[DISCLAIMER: THE SONGS AREN'T ALL RECENT SONGS, JUST RECENT TOP PLAYS]
1. The Rumble Strips "Girls & Boys in Love"; this tune is pretty irresistible! it's up-beat, even for someone that's single, this song acts as does chocolate; to mimick the euphoria of love.
2. Band of Horses "I Go to the Barn Because I Like The..."; First off, love everything they do. I want to put all their songs on here. Second, this song has a sweet quality about it; a tenderness. Kind of that secret language that couples have, and when they reminisce about their past together, and it kind of makes you sick but you like it...that.
3. Anya Marina "Whatever You Like (cover)"; Not gonna lie, this is a guilty pleasure. I especially like the irony of a woman singing this, and Anya's voice has a sweet quality that adds to the strange wonder of it all. If nothing else, YouTube it.
4. Jose Gonzalez "Down the Line"; the rhythm really emphasizes the element of the impending passage of time, this song is both one you can tap your foot to and fall asleep to. Not to mention lyrics! It's a little repetitive, but that's about the only complaint to be made here.
5. Led Zeppelin "Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You"; hello, amazing song. This song just really gets me going, the guitar...Ugh! Love it. I can definitely be found jamming to this song in my car throughout the metro area, on just about any day that ends in 'y'.
6. Fleet Foxes "Drops in the River"; nothing much to say, but I like this song, after being a little unsure about the Foxes, and now I'm completely intrigued.
7. Beirut "Postcards From Italy"; Here's another cheery little ditty for ya, but this one goes about it in a completely different way than the Strips do w/ "girls and boys". This one has a more nostalgic approach to love, yet it's hopeful. It has more of a notion of continuation, rather than infatuation. Also: ukelele.
8. Rogue Wave "Lake Michigan"; This song has attitude, without being rude. It's blunt, but in such a mesmerizing way that you can't mind. It's also rumored to be an homage to Pink Floyd's "money".
9. Norm Greenbaum "Spirit in the Sky"; the guitar in this song, mmm-mmm! I don't think I will ever stop loving this song. Perfect, classic '69 rock. I can definitely flip this onto repeat for a couple goes.
10. Brand New "Jesus Christ"; this song, though it has a pretty mainstream rock sound (reminds me a lot of Blue October), the music part is not that different to me, but I was really impressed by the lyrics. They seem really well thought out, and the seemingly not extraordinary music blends really well with the words to make an excellent song!
So that's me giving it a shot, I kind of don't care as much about the correctness, etc. of my blogs. So if you don't like what I thought, too bad (though it IS late at night); if you like having the opportunity to read what I thought, let me know!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Pandora is Rockin' It!
I am on an EXCELLENT streak on Pandora. I have never been quite so pleased with that site. The station is one I only created the other day, because I've been so content with my music that I haven't been using Pandora; Band of Horses.
I'm turning in my big projects of the semester today; I'm so happy I could poo.
I have coffee breath. I drank it straight today, and it was only luke-warm because it was so frigid out this morning! I think that's the only reason I'm as functional right now as I am.
I got a whole hour and 45 minutes of sleep this morning. I won't even say last night, because that'd be a lie. Last night was purely spent doing one project that I attempted to begin a week ago, but the pressure of deadline is apparently what gets me to actually do something of substance. I'll make a good journalist, I think.
I am only just finishing transcribing my notes from my interview. I just finished the actual interview, now i'm doing the other people I interview. I had fun doing this, I was really nervous about it, but now I feel more confident. Already. I went to a swanky event last night as part of my reporting, and several people mistook me for an actual journalist which I found (somewhat laughable as well as) exciting.
Off to turn in that project! I am so relieved to be rid of it. I have to get a 58% on it to get a B in the class...I think that's doable.
I'm turning in my big projects of the semester today; I'm so happy I could poo.
I have coffee breath. I drank it straight today, and it was only luke-warm because it was so frigid out this morning! I think that's the only reason I'm as functional right now as I am.
I got a whole hour and 45 minutes of sleep this morning. I won't even say last night, because that'd be a lie. Last night was purely spent doing one project that I attempted to begin a week ago, but the pressure of deadline is apparently what gets me to actually do something of substance. I'll make a good journalist, I think.
I am only just finishing transcribing my notes from my interview. I just finished the actual interview, now i'm doing the other people I interview. I had fun doing this, I was really nervous about it, but now I feel more confident. Already. I went to a swanky event last night as part of my reporting, and several people mistook me for an actual journalist which I found (somewhat laughable as well as) exciting.
Off to turn in that project! I am so relieved to be rid of it. I have to get a 58% on it to get a B in the class...I think that's doable.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
The Minne-snow-ta Secret
Ughhh...the thing about snow and Minnesotans is we try to seem like it's nothing; we say "you just have to live here to understand", or my favorite "it's not that bad". These are lies told to foreigners (of Minnesota, that is) to lead them to believe that Minnesotans have some extra-thick layer of skin to keep them warm, or some kind of insiders' secret.
I'm here to tell you that is not true. We say things like this, and act as if there is some big Minnesota secret as to how to survive a winter here, when in reality that is in itself the big secret. The way Minnesotans survive is to pretend like it doesn't affect us:
-Getting up each day 15 minutes early for the combined efforts of warming up and wiping off the car, not to mention the traffic that ensues.
-You can't see the lanes on any given road or freeway, which throws off the North Dakotans and Iowans even more than the fact that people here usually go the speed limit, and not minimum.
-Or that one can really only dress for practicality during these tough months,
-Or that on some days it doesn't matter what direction you're walking, you're inevitably facing a headwind full of snow.
That is just the beginning of the list, and you probably thought of something you'd want to add to it.
Let's stop lying to ourselves and each other; we all know that deep down, when you're stuck somewhere outdoors for five minutes or more during a good Minnesota snow fall, it's miserable. And that's when you mutter to yourself, "I hate Minnesota", right before feeling like a traitor. Don't.
Now that the truth is out, we can live in harmony with immigrants from other states and countries. We can stop spreading the lie that it's not that bad, or that we enjoy it.
It's nice to look at, but not always enjoyable to be in, but that's just the opinion of someone born and raised.
I'm here to tell you that is not true. We say things like this, and act as if there is some big Minnesota secret as to how to survive a winter here, when in reality that is in itself the big secret. The way Minnesotans survive is to pretend like it doesn't affect us:
-Getting up each day 15 minutes early for the combined efforts of warming up and wiping off the car, not to mention the traffic that ensues.
-You can't see the lanes on any given road or freeway, which throws off the North Dakotans and Iowans even more than the fact that people here usually go the speed limit, and not minimum.
-Or that one can really only dress for practicality during these tough months,
-Or that on some days it doesn't matter what direction you're walking, you're inevitably facing a headwind full of snow.
That is just the beginning of the list, and you probably thought of something you'd want to add to it.
Let's stop lying to ourselves and each other; we all know that deep down, when you're stuck somewhere outdoors for five minutes or more during a good Minnesota snow fall, it's miserable. And that's when you mutter to yourself, "I hate Minnesota", right before feeling like a traitor. Don't.
Now that the truth is out, we can live in harmony with immigrants from other states and countries. We can stop spreading the lie that it's not that bad, or that we enjoy it.
It's nice to look at, but not always enjoyable to be in, but that's just the opinion of someone born and raised.
Monday, December 07, 2009
Craze-zayyyyyyyy!
Mmm, I have one of those microwave heat-wrap things resting on my shoulders right now. I am in sweat pants, ready to just crash. Today seemed short, except for French. French always seems long. I couldn't tell you a single thing that happened in the second hour of it.
My second class was canceled, so I walked down to starbucks and chilled out for a while, did absolutely nothing.
Combed through the Daily a bit. It was interesting, they always have 3 columns in the ed/op section. One of them was about Middle Eastern stability (which I did not read), and the others were about swinging (yes, as in couples being up-front about their cheating) and a legal mind-altering drug that many states are attempting to prohibit.
What is this paper coming to? I was a little annoyed, because I'll be frank here: when I finished reading the article about the drug, I thought "hmmm, if it's legal, and you can buy it in Dinkytown...wait a minute!" And that's all this school needs.
Anyways, despite having a big gap between classes, French still felt eternal. Then I sat at Dunn Bros reading the OTHER paper for like 2 hours, as well as doing some french homework. Possibly zoning out, I catch myself doing that more often than I'm aware. Not good. Especially if I'm humming to myself.
Ahh, so I am so ready for bed. And it's 11PM, that hasn't happened on its own in...a long, long time. I think I'm going to embrace it, then go take a stupid library course at the U. Stupid Info For Mass Comm is eating away at my life. YUCK!
My second class was canceled, so I walked down to starbucks and chilled out for a while, did absolutely nothing.
Combed through the Daily a bit. It was interesting, they always have 3 columns in the ed/op section. One of them was about Middle Eastern stability (which I did not read), and the others were about swinging (yes, as in couples being up-front about their cheating) and a legal mind-altering drug that many states are attempting to prohibit.
What is this paper coming to? I was a little annoyed, because I'll be frank here: when I finished reading the article about the drug, I thought "hmmm, if it's legal, and you can buy it in Dinkytown...wait a minute!" And that's all this school needs.
Anyways, despite having a big gap between classes, French still felt eternal. Then I sat at Dunn Bros reading the OTHER paper for like 2 hours, as well as doing some french homework. Possibly zoning out, I catch myself doing that more often than I'm aware. Not good. Especially if I'm humming to myself.
Ahh, so I am so ready for bed. And it's 11PM, that hasn't happened on its own in...a long, long time. I think I'm going to embrace it, then go take a stupid library course at the U. Stupid Info For Mass Comm is eating away at my life. YUCK!
Friday, December 04, 2009
Friday Afternoon Rant w/ Coffee
Ahh, this is Friday. It is a great day. Minus the fact that it's a mere week until my two biggest projects are due. And then only a week from that that all but one of my finals will be done.
That aside, today is a good day!
It's been flurrying all morning, and just the right kind. They're slightly bigger flakes that just seem to float magically around like dust.
I have a nice tasty cup of joe right now, two newspapers, my jacket over my shoulders to keep me warm. Good stuff.
I'm a little OCD about how I fold my newspaper. I don't like it to get complicated; nice, smooth clean folds.
I love that if I come in here, I know most of the people working, or they at least recognize me. And that if I come in here, I will inevitably run into someone I know who happens to be having coffee here. Sometimes it is an off-duty worker, haha. The only place I don't mind running into people I know, is a coffee shop. Usually I think it's horribly awkward otherwise, I don't know why that is...
My favorite little old man came in. Haha, that just goes to show how much too often I'm here. There's this cute little old man that comes in, gets a regular coffee, and reads the paper, while people watching. He probably doesn't think anyone notices, but I do while I intermittently do homework. I usually sit across from him on fridays. I appreciate people who read the paper. I also appreciate cute little old men who like their coffee routine.
It's still flurrying...
I'm so cold, my body is just tingling all over. I've recently come to the conclusion that I have bad circulation. My hands are always cold! It's annoying. Except if I get to say to someone, "wow, my hands are cold, see?" and then touch their arm or face. haha, it's evil, I know but it's one of the few mean things I actually take a bit of pleasure in. At least for a second, until they get really offended.
Wow, I can really talk about anything...for any given amount of time. If I wasn't afraid of speaking to groups, I'd probably rock at Toast Master's. If you can B.S. a biology quiz answer, you can B.S. a speech to a group of people.
Well, I'm off to scan my second newspaper, then head to News Reporting & Writing (my favorite class), for which by the way, I will be interviewing a gubernatorial candidate. Boo-ya, end o' semester confidence I probably shouldn't have.
Love the tunes here: "soul meets body". This place makes starbucks look like an urban wannabe joke.
I'm done, I swear.
That aside, today is a good day!
It's been flurrying all morning, and just the right kind. They're slightly bigger flakes that just seem to float magically around like dust.
I have a nice tasty cup of joe right now, two newspapers, my jacket over my shoulders to keep me warm. Good stuff.
I'm a little OCD about how I fold my newspaper. I don't like it to get complicated; nice, smooth clean folds.
I love that if I come in here, I know most of the people working, or they at least recognize me. And that if I come in here, I will inevitably run into someone I know who happens to be having coffee here. Sometimes it is an off-duty worker, haha. The only place I don't mind running into people I know, is a coffee shop. Usually I think it's horribly awkward otherwise, I don't know why that is...
My favorite little old man came in. Haha, that just goes to show how much too often I'm here. There's this cute little old man that comes in, gets a regular coffee, and reads the paper, while people watching. He probably doesn't think anyone notices, but I do while I intermittently do homework. I usually sit across from him on fridays. I appreciate people who read the paper. I also appreciate cute little old men who like their coffee routine.
It's still flurrying...
I'm so cold, my body is just tingling all over. I've recently come to the conclusion that I have bad circulation. My hands are always cold! It's annoying. Except if I get to say to someone, "wow, my hands are cold, see?" and then touch their arm or face. haha, it's evil, I know but it's one of the few mean things I actually take a bit of pleasure in. At least for a second, until they get really offended.
Wow, I can really talk about anything...for any given amount of time. If I wasn't afraid of speaking to groups, I'd probably rock at Toast Master's. If you can B.S. a biology quiz answer, you can B.S. a speech to a group of people.
Well, I'm off to scan my second newspaper, then head to News Reporting & Writing (my favorite class), for which by the way, I will be interviewing a gubernatorial candidate. Boo-ya, end o' semester confidence I probably shouldn't have.
Love the tunes here: "soul meets body". This place makes starbucks look like an urban wannabe joke.
I'm done, I swear.
Thursday, December 03, 2009
This Is Such a Strange/Stupid Day
Today sucked. It was like being metaphorically constipated, and not in the brain...just one of those strange days gone wrong that you can't quite explain.
So I'll focus on the gleaming good moments, those being:
- Eating a potent clementine in class. I put the peels on a specially torn out piece of The Daily. My hands smelled like clementine rinds for the rest of the day. That part, not so fun.
- Stupidly answering "ORGAN?" (like the instrument) in french class kind of loud...ok, loud. Luckily, I not only can be embarrassed but very amused at this.
- Getting cream cheese wontons on the way home from bio, and seeing my 1970's volvo wagon -dream car!- driving pal, Barney! Who I wouldn't have seen if not for going back to dinkytown to get wontons. Pagoda.
- And that someone else noticed "the smell". Hahaha...so very much made my day. Slightly mean, but I thought it was all in my head.
Even though it was difficult a sigh of relief is in order, for there is yet tomorrow, which I've made a little easier on myself...and tomorrow will lead further, and that will lead to the end of this RIDICULOUS semester.
Talli-ho!
So I'll focus on the gleaming good moments, those being:
- Eating a potent clementine in class. I put the peels on a specially torn out piece of The Daily. My hands smelled like clementine rinds for the rest of the day. That part, not so fun.
- Stupidly answering "ORGAN?" (like the instrument) in french class kind of loud...ok, loud. Luckily, I not only can be embarrassed but very amused at this.
- Getting cream cheese wontons on the way home from bio, and seeing my 1970's volvo wagon -dream car!- driving pal, Barney! Who I wouldn't have seen if not for going back to dinkytown to get wontons. Pagoda.
- And that someone else noticed "the smell". Hahaha...so very much made my day. Slightly mean, but I thought it was all in my head.
Even though it was difficult a sigh of relief is in order, for there is yet tomorrow, which I've made a little easier on myself...and tomorrow will lead further, and that will lead to the end of this RIDICULOUS semester.
Talli-ho!
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Unexpected
I'm guessing we're not what I thought we were,
All this time gone by,
A blur,
I never thought you'd turn away,
But then, you know what they say:
We never expect the unexpected,
And this whole thing has left me feeling disrespected,
I guess we're not what I thought we were,
And what we are I can't be sure,
I can feel we're drifting apart,
If we're meant to save it,
You say I've got to start,
But where are you when I need you,
What if I should fall?
What is any of this worth,
If I can't lean on you at all?
All this time gone by,
A blur,
I never thought you'd turn away,
But then, you know what they say:
We never expect the unexpected,
And this whole thing has left me feeling disrespected,
I guess we're not what I thought we were,
And what we are I can't be sure,
I can feel we're drifting apart,
If we're meant to save it,
You say I've got to start,
But where are you when I need you,
What if I should fall?
What is any of this worth,
If I can't lean on you at all?
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