So I Laugh . . .

So I laugh:

I was all worried about the 3 papers I had to do this weekend. Well I technically have one outta the way, except for the fact that it's supposed to be 2 to 3 pages...yeah it's just over 4. Like 4 and a 1/5. lol. It's not supposed to be that long. But I don't know what to do. Proof read and just subtract things? As a writer it hurts to have to do that, especially with this kind of writing. It's not just a research paper or book report anymore. Now it's about description and feelings. And I have to remove things? Um...about that. I don't want to remove anything from my 5 page paper about "White Noise"...

so I laugh.

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

So it seems like for as much as I want to find a college close to home because there are too many people I'd miss, I feel like I really should go somewhere far away. Part of me just wants to escape the surroundings that I've known for so long, that I've experienced adnosiam. I can't honestly tell if I'm yearning for somewhere new to make my own fresh start, to experience things on my own. Is that what it takes to experience independence? Do I have to separate myself from the world I know, just to figure out life? I don't know if I'm ready to do that. I'm so comfortable here, and there are few other places I would actually consider moving to for college. Then again, sometimes I feel like I can't wait until college, to live on my own and be free of the stupid things of everyday life that someone turns into something capable of ruining a good mood or a happy disposition.

Sometimes that is the most intriguing part of moving away to college, meeting all new people. It's sad but the truth. There are a lot of people I'd miss here (or wherever they go to school, etc.) but at the same time I feel like I need a break. Maybe it would even help me to realize what I have; help me to appreciate those around me that I do, but not enough.

I could definitely get away from my family! Each as individuals I don't mind so much (I'm more of a one-on-one person anyways), but altogether -other than birthdays and holidays- they are too much. Just think when you put 8 people together there are definitely going to be personalities that clash, no matter if you were born into that mess together or not. There will still be clashes. That's the part I can't deal with. But I'm also scared that I'll meet new people -that don't bother me as much, or aren't so negative, that like to enjoy life and work hard- and that they will make what's back home seem so much more annoying.

Basically, for as much as I'm positive that I'm going to stay in the twin cities, I'm certain I'm going to need to leave. As usual, I'm a walking contradiction!

That Fateful Day . . .

I'll never forget on that fateful day,
The gift gone unnoticed in an ungrateful gray,
How drastically the world changed,
My whole life rearranged,
You let me down and I fell hard,
You let me drown and left me scarred,
The wind of this news pushed me aside,
Our forever friendship defied,
You just watched with no outstretched hand,
Crutches torn away only love's left to stand,
All that was between us ripped apart,
Now we're back how we were at the start,
Is this what you wanted?
To leave us broken and haunted?