This is an open letter to "tipping.org" [also submitted on their feedback section] on their chart that was featured on CNN.com's money section as to how NOT to tip your barista. Naturally, outraged, I wrote them. Hopefully they change their advice on this, but at least I can say I tried...
"I was really appalled to find CNN had listed your site as the reference on a recommendation for tipping on various services. One of the only services that was listed as "No Tip" was your "coffee shop staff". This is absolute GARBAGE. As having been a barista for 5+ years, I find this unacceptable. Yes, granted it works the same way as waiting - if your server sucks, don't tip well, and at a coffee shop I'd say at all. But I had people day in and day out, buy $5 drinks and, whether difficult or kind, they didn't tip; I always thought it was rude. I couldn't afford a $5 coffee every day on my wage. The most I ever made hourly was $8.5, after five years in coffee. These people put up with some of the worst attitudes and treatment, and I'm really offended and shocked, - outraged! that you wouldn't recommend a tip to a coffee slinger. Really?
Maybe go out and do it for a day, on an insanely busy morning shift that starts at an ungodly hour, and see how not getting tipped feels. Then suggest that people shouldn't tip. I doubt you'd hold your stance. And so I highly suggest your website change it."
Friday, April 26, 2013
Thursday, April 18, 2013
The Law of Love
(April 14th Journal Excerpt)
...and the concept of a God that loves each of us so specifically, every little thing!
Sometimes I struggle a little because I can't fathom Him. That's also what keeps me coming back. there is nothing else like this, and it doesn't make any sense, but I know it. It's a reality in my life I can't deny. It's a paradox: I don't get Him, but I can't stop trying.
It just sort of rocked me extra hard today: a God that loves. All other gods and religion are for achieving peace or good karma, or upgrade in yet another life. None involve an omnipotent deity that loves; that humbled Himself to our level, not to judge upon himself to wipe our slate(s). But they all still acknowledge good and bad; or evil.
I love that I know that is reflected in me; that love God has for each individual just smacks me in the chest sometimes, knocks the wind out of me usually. A reflection that my nature tries to overshadow, and veil.
So even though I can't comprehend it fully, I know it. It's not unlike the concept of gravity; no, sorry - the law! it's like the law of gravity: we know it exists, and based on the fact that we don't float away to the moon we each personally know it, but it's a little hard to comprehend. So is the law of love.
And what a beautiful law!
...and the concept of a God that loves each of us so specifically, every little thing!
Sometimes I struggle a little because I can't fathom Him. That's also what keeps me coming back. there is nothing else like this, and it doesn't make any sense, but I know it. It's a reality in my life I can't deny. It's a paradox: I don't get Him, but I can't stop trying.
It just sort of rocked me extra hard today: a God that loves. All other gods and religion are for achieving peace or good karma, or upgrade in yet another life. None involve an omnipotent deity that loves; that humbled Himself to our level, not to judge upon himself to wipe our slate(s). But they all still acknowledge good and bad; or evil.
I love that I know that is reflected in me; that love God has for each individual just smacks me in the chest sometimes, knocks the wind out of me usually. A reflection that my nature tries to overshadow, and veil.
So even though I can't comprehend it fully, I know it. It's not unlike the concept of gravity; no, sorry - the law! it's like the law of gravity: we know it exists, and based on the fact that we don't float away to the moon we each personally know it, but it's a little hard to comprehend. So is the law of love.
And what a beautiful law!
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Incessant Need to Explain How I Tick
I have this problem (which will become ironic with further explanation) where I have a minor obsession with personality type tests. Psychological and sociological breakdown of personal and interpersonal actions, reactions, developments - what have you, I am enthralled with it. Mostly with my own, but I've learned the value in learning about other people's too; it helps make sense out of them. Without getting into the specifics of why they are that way, it explains habits and tendencies. The irony lies in the fact that mine say that my type likes to delve into self-betterment and self-discovery...hence why I love personality tests. It's a vicious cycle.
So it's not really something one would call a problem necessarily...unless you were the type to aim high on the self-discovery and awareness chart. Whatever that chart is. But I was collecting all these kind of funny statements from different tests that said I was this that and the other type, and post them. The other thing many of those types say, is a deep need to be authentic and understood. So where I find a problem with this is, it's making things too simple, and in the way of loose openness, it detracts from authenticity.
If I want to be understood, even by people in my life who are supposed to be the closest people in my life, do I draw them a roadmap? Make a small, hand-bound dictionary or encyclopedia? Maybe it'd make for a really nice Venn diagram! Even though I find it fascinating, I'd probably just find myself frustrated, didn't you read my blog?! No, probably you didn't. Because normal interactions don't typically involve a decided bullet-pointed list of each party's characteristics and outlook.
And it's me selling myself short; putting myself in a personality tested box. Yes, they eerily describe me, but I am more than they can describe by having me answer 30 multiple choice questions. It's not fair for me to think that's all someone would need to understand me. Or any person, for that matter. It helps, a ton - I stand firm on that, but there's more.
I hope I can grow away from the seemingly incessant need to explain myself, but hold tight to the need to express my thoughts, ideas, ideals, and opinions. That's the part of a person that should be open for explicit explanation. You can figure out for yourself how I tick, I like to think it's worth it.
So it's not really something one would call a problem necessarily...unless you were the type to aim high on the self-discovery and awareness chart. Whatever that chart is. But I was collecting all these kind of funny statements from different tests that said I was this that and the other type, and post them. The other thing many of those types say, is a deep need to be authentic and understood. So where I find a problem with this is, it's making things too simple, and in the way of loose openness, it detracts from authenticity.
If I want to be understood, even by people in my life who are supposed to be the closest people in my life, do I draw them a roadmap? Make a small, hand-bound dictionary or encyclopedia? Maybe it'd make for a really nice Venn diagram! Even though I find it fascinating, I'd probably just find myself frustrated, didn't you read my blog?! No, probably you didn't. Because normal interactions don't typically involve a decided bullet-pointed list of each party's characteristics and outlook.
And it's me selling myself short; putting myself in a personality tested box. Yes, they eerily describe me, but I am more than they can describe by having me answer 30 multiple choice questions. It's not fair for me to think that's all someone would need to understand me. Or any person, for that matter. It helps, a ton - I stand firm on that, but there's more.
I hope I can grow away from the seemingly incessant need to explain myself, but hold tight to the need to express my thoughts, ideas, ideals, and opinions. That's the part of a person that should be open for explicit explanation. You can figure out for yourself how I tick, I like to think it's worth it.
Getting the Word Out: Three Recommendations
I like to learn about things from people, and to help people learn about things. So here are some things I recommend, lately:
Handcraft Cabernet Sauvignon. It's a really bright, carbony red. Pretty easy to drink, but perfect for sipping. It's very different as Cabs go (which I can say, because I've had many at this point), but I like it nonetheless. I'd guess it'd pair well with something subtly salty. And it's relatively cheap! Which is always a selling point.
The documentary movie, "Doctored". It's a very interesting peek into the health industry, particularly the use of homeopathic treatments versus drugs. I found it very eye-opening, and not overly propagandizing - though I supposed one could take it that way. It makes you realize just how much we are a society held in the place of being dependent on doctors, when maybe not necessary. It's very hopeful, whereas I feel like in medicine there's a lot of hopelessness. Makes the health crisis we face, all the more difficult to unravel though.
Carroll. It's this local Minneapolis band that has this really great, really different sound. I don't quite know how to put words to it, but the music is actually really interesting. I think more so than the lyrics, which I don't find myself thinking often these days. The kind of music I'm drawn to is lyrics over sound. But this stuff is just something you kind of get pulled into, and lost in a little. Maybe that's just me, but check out their EP Needs, available on iTunes, bandcamp, and at Electric Fetus.
So that's just to share a few things I've been thinking about and wanting to spread the word on.
Handcraft Cabernet Sauvignon. It's a really bright, carbony red. Pretty easy to drink, but perfect for sipping. It's very different as Cabs go (which I can say, because I've had many at this point), but I like it nonetheless. I'd guess it'd pair well with something subtly salty. And it's relatively cheap! Which is always a selling point.
The documentary movie, "Doctored". It's a very interesting peek into the health industry, particularly the use of homeopathic treatments versus drugs. I found it very eye-opening, and not overly propagandizing - though I supposed one could take it that way. It makes you realize just how much we are a society held in the place of being dependent on doctors, when maybe not necessary. It's very hopeful, whereas I feel like in medicine there's a lot of hopelessness. Makes the health crisis we face, all the more difficult to unravel though.
Carroll. It's this local Minneapolis band that has this really great, really different sound. I don't quite know how to put words to it, but the music is actually really interesting. I think more so than the lyrics, which I don't find myself thinking often these days. The kind of music I'm drawn to is lyrics over sound. But this stuff is just something you kind of get pulled into, and lost in a little. Maybe that's just me, but check out their EP Needs, available on iTunes, bandcamp, and at Electric Fetus.
So that's just to share a few things I've been thinking about and wanting to spread the word on.
Friday, April 05, 2013
All Things, for a Season: Friendship
Sometimes I feel like the overarching lesson in my life is one on Friendship. If there is one concept that I can consistently remember throughout my life, even from a young age it's the friendships I've had; all of them inevitably shaping the person I am today. Almost every friendship that I've really cherished, has also greatly challenged me. It's where I've learned the bulk of the things I have about [platonic] relationships, and also where I've developed probably all of my remaining unhealthy coping mechanisms. Friendships have built me and broken me. They have shown me what I'm capable of, and what I value in others.
All of my best friends have been starkly different people. Even if one reminds me of another, they're still so different I have trouble calling them similar. I've gone through a lot of friends. I used to think there was something particularly wrong with me; that no one else had this experience. And granted, no one is perfect in relationship - which is something I've learned from the end of some relationships that didn't need to end. From ones that I could've worked harder on; I could've given a little more.
I used to get offended, when I liked someone they liked me; we got along, but then they slowly drifted out of my life. And the way our society is these days, social media can help you feel connected to people who you're not in the least! I see a post by them on something or another, and I get nostalgic (as I do with anything I can, every chance that I get). And I get sad. Because for as much as I have in the past been good at burying a toxic friendship six-feet-under, I'm loyal and sentimental; I have a hard time letting go.
So often I find myself, wondering what went wrong (which is probably a result of having had actual relationship failures, I begin to think everything falls apart on account of me). But I had this sort of realization, and it's something else I've been slowly learning over the years: everything for a season. It's actually biblical, from a sort of black sheep chapter of the bible, Ecclesiastes. It not only has the popularly quoted passage "A time to love, and a time to weep...", but it also talks about how meaningless everything in life is. I love the harshness with which Ecclesiastes delivers such a message, because it's truth. It's a truth we so often forget. All the things on which we focus our energy and time, are meaningless. Toil. Wealth. Pleasure. Wisdom.
The reality of friendship, and relationship in general, is that some things are for a season. Some people you may not form a lasting bond with, the kind where you both care enough to work through the issues to hold fast to the good that you are blessed to have, and not to be cliche, but: that is life. Part of it is learning how to spot the relationships that will work to fight for. Not that a person is ever unworthy of fighting for, but I think sometimes a relationship is just for a time. This theory that has taken and will continue to take me a long time to come to grips with.
It also frees you up; frees you from guilting yourself, thinking, what could I have done better? or if only I could go back...The reality is you can't go back. You can only learn, move forward. Only questioning what you would do if you could go back, isn't growing. Growing is going forth, challenging yourself by your past, to be different in the times ahead.
Growth is a process. I still constantly fail to challenge myself to learn from the mistakes that I've made and the relationships that have come and gone, but I hope I never stop trying. I hope someday I'll learn to internalize the theory of all things for a season. And if everything for a season, and everything is meaningless, then certain to be seasons of meaningless friendship.
All of my best friends have been starkly different people. Even if one reminds me of another, they're still so different I have trouble calling them similar. I've gone through a lot of friends. I used to think there was something particularly wrong with me; that no one else had this experience. And granted, no one is perfect in relationship - which is something I've learned from the end of some relationships that didn't need to end. From ones that I could've worked harder on; I could've given a little more.
I used to get offended, when I liked someone they liked me; we got along, but then they slowly drifted out of my life. And the way our society is these days, social media can help you feel connected to people who you're not in the least! I see a post by them on something or another, and I get nostalgic (as I do with anything I can, every chance that I get). And I get sad. Because for as much as I have in the past been good at burying a toxic friendship six-feet-under, I'm loyal and sentimental; I have a hard time letting go.
So often I find myself, wondering what went wrong (which is probably a result of having had actual relationship failures, I begin to think everything falls apart on account of me). But I had this sort of realization, and it's something else I've been slowly learning over the years: everything for a season. It's actually biblical, from a sort of black sheep chapter of the bible, Ecclesiastes. It not only has the popularly quoted passage "A time to love, and a time to weep...", but it also talks about how meaningless everything in life is. I love the harshness with which Ecclesiastes delivers such a message, because it's truth. It's a truth we so often forget. All the things on which we focus our energy and time, are meaningless. Toil. Wealth. Pleasure. Wisdom.
The reality of friendship, and relationship in general, is that some things are for a season. Some people you may not form a lasting bond with, the kind where you both care enough to work through the issues to hold fast to the good that you are blessed to have, and not to be cliche, but: that is life. Part of it is learning how to spot the relationships that will work to fight for. Not that a person is ever unworthy of fighting for, but I think sometimes a relationship is just for a time. This theory that has taken and will continue to take me a long time to come to grips with.
It also frees you up; frees you from guilting yourself, thinking, what could I have done better? or if only I could go back...The reality is you can't go back. You can only learn, move forward. Only questioning what you would do if you could go back, isn't growing. Growing is going forth, challenging yourself by your past, to be different in the times ahead.
Growth is a process. I still constantly fail to challenge myself to learn from the mistakes that I've made and the relationships that have come and gone, but I hope I never stop trying. I hope someday I'll learn to internalize the theory of all things for a season. And if everything for a season, and everything is meaningless, then certain to be seasons of meaningless friendship.
Tuesday, April 02, 2013
Ponder the Cross; Heart Follow Suit
This was an especially good Easter. It wasn't really due to anything in particular, but just that every year I continue to go deeper into its meaning to me personally. I could never stop wrapping my head around the cross; I hope I never do!
And I was thinking about the things I've done in my young life, and how I can't imagine that that was my life. It's so different now, it's been so different since. It's left me waiting til I do something like it again, to feel like I'm really living a life; maybe my life. Right now I feel like I'm living bills and a job to satiate those bills. So I'm constantly thinking about what's next that's different. And I have this tendency - a very human tendency - to come up with every idea possible. I could tell you the array of things I've conjured up, and they're so different: moving away, moving far away, getting more educated, getting more spiritually educated, being a nomad, and putting down big-kid roots. Then I think about how any of these plans "would just be easier if __________".
But among the greatest lessons I learned from my big journey of 2011, was that following God's plan is significantly better than anything I could come up with, while still fulfilling the desires of my heart. So I just had this sort of revelation, Jesus went to the cross (not that my life decisions even big to compare to walking oneself to such a fate) knowing full-well what He was going into, and the bible is fairly clear that it wasn't easy...for the Son of God. The best things in life aren't easy to get to, but they're well-worth it when you do.
My sister-in-law recently having a baby, I think of the process: nine months of your body changing in spite of you, then pain, then more pain, then a baby laid in your arms. I can only imagine the feeling of holding your first child after all that you go through.
I know this all, in the better part of me; the better-developed, more rational side of my mind. I know that the good lies with Him and His plans that are to bless me and use my gifts, if only I could get my heart to follow suit. To walk through the seasons of the difficult, the preparation is to find the utmost happiness.
And then inevitably crave more.
And I was thinking about the things I've done in my young life, and how I can't imagine that that was my life. It's so different now, it's been so different since. It's left me waiting til I do something like it again, to feel like I'm really living a life; maybe my life. Right now I feel like I'm living bills and a job to satiate those bills. So I'm constantly thinking about what's next that's different. And I have this tendency - a very human tendency - to come up with every idea possible. I could tell you the array of things I've conjured up, and they're so different: moving away, moving far away, getting more educated, getting more spiritually educated, being a nomad, and putting down big-kid roots. Then I think about how any of these plans "would just be easier if __________".
But among the greatest lessons I learned from my big journey of 2011, was that following God's plan is significantly better than anything I could come up with, while still fulfilling the desires of my heart. So I just had this sort of revelation, Jesus went to the cross (not that my life decisions even big to compare to walking oneself to such a fate) knowing full-well what He was going into, and the bible is fairly clear that it wasn't easy...for the Son of God. The best things in life aren't easy to get to, but they're well-worth it when you do.
My sister-in-law recently having a baby, I think of the process: nine months of your body changing in spite of you, then pain, then more pain, then a baby laid in your arms. I can only imagine the feeling of holding your first child after all that you go through.
I know this all, in the better part of me; the better-developed, more rational side of my mind. I know that the good lies with Him and His plans that are to bless me and use my gifts, if only I could get my heart to follow suit. To walk through the seasons of the difficult, the preparation is to find the utmost happiness.
And then inevitably crave more.
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