I still swoon over him probably the most over any musician...I'll probably change my mind about that later...I'm conflicted though, in a music video some shots he has a five o'clock, and not in others. Definitely better with.
My ear is still plugged up, what the heck? I definitely went into my favorite dunn brothers and was talking apparently under my breath, - made a fool of myself. It sounded really loud to me...
Today was a day of college fail. I missed my first class again, unintentionally, as I finally was sleeping okay with this awful cold, I slept through my alarm. Then for my night class, I wasn't fully prepared, not to mention late because I couldn't find parking and finally had to pay to park in a ramp. It was just easier that way.
Pandora fail: I decided why not create a Josh Groban station...Song #2 = Celine Dion. Ha. "That's the way it isssss, that's just the way it is..." Yikes.
Anyways, in art class, we were contour drawing. I suck at drawing. Also, haven't bought my materials yet. Just a big fail. Afterward, I had to walk back to my car, across west bank when I could've parked in the ramp right across from my building. Wow, it's cold out.
Then I had a nice long phone date with Sara. We managed to talk on the phone for a whole hour. We're having great brain-wave-lengths even over the many miles. I've just been thinking about how blessed I am by her friendship!
Anywhoo, now I am listening to my groban station, about to binge on Social Interview...haha. Here's hoping I wake up without a plugged ear!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Got it!
To sum up the day:
- i need to find my knit hats, they have all hidden on me & hence, head cold.
- my ear has been plugged up since approximately 3'o clock this afternoon; not efficient.
- i had 4 cups of tea & 2 cups of some form of chicken soup.
- really cool little known fact: the staff writers at the star trib today did what i believe is called (this is about to be incorrect but...) "a by line strike" (?). At any rate, almost every single article in today's paper pulled the by-line, as a protest of the 30 jobs that will be cut from the Strib. It has not happened in over 10 years, according to one of the strib's former reporters.
- i was suddenly really bothered by the feeling that there is no way shape or form that i can help the haitians (besides praying for them), then was subsequently really bothered that more celebrities don't just drop loads of cash on these people from their private jets.
- small group was fun, glad i went despite my ailments. i talked with people that i don't normally get to have full conversations with (because believe it or not, sometimes I get shy, HA, who knew?). which is awesome, cause i already think they're great, then we have a conversation! great, great people. Try my church.
- chocolate chip cookies a la Libby. Merci, mon amie :)
- my black skinny jeans bit the dust majorly, i'm sort of concerned as to how long that much of my butt was showing...hmmm.
- i also got really bothered by the fact that sometimes i really want to write music, like a song and i have an idea but no words, no tune. just a concept. and i get stuck. and i forget. Ahhh *sigh* music.
- i feel like a scrub, but the prospect of getting out of a hot shower to cold house...
- furnaces rock (except, for the obvious: when they break).
- even when it's cold out, and you're not wearing a hat, and you can't hear out of one ear, and you miss your bus twice, and walk through campus when it's 10 degrees...life is awesome.
- sometimes, i feel crazy.
Lastly, but not leastly...
- i am wondering why i don't heat up my jammies before bed every night. seriously, brilliant. Nothin' like a hot pair of pants.
- i need to find my knit hats, they have all hidden on me & hence, head cold.
- my ear has been plugged up since approximately 3'o clock this afternoon; not efficient.
- i had 4 cups of tea & 2 cups of some form of chicken soup.
- really cool little known fact: the staff writers at the star trib today did what i believe is called (this is about to be incorrect but...) "a by line strike" (?). At any rate, almost every single article in today's paper pulled the by-line, as a protest of the 30 jobs that will be cut from the Strib. It has not happened in over 10 years, according to one of the strib's former reporters.
- i was suddenly really bothered by the feeling that there is no way shape or form that i can help the haitians (besides praying for them), then was subsequently really bothered that more celebrities don't just drop loads of cash on these people from their private jets.
- small group was fun, glad i went despite my ailments. i talked with people that i don't normally get to have full conversations with (because believe it or not, sometimes I get shy, HA, who knew?). which is awesome, cause i already think they're great, then we have a conversation! great, great people. Try my church.
- chocolate chip cookies a la Libby. Merci, mon amie :)
- my black skinny jeans bit the dust majorly, i'm sort of concerned as to how long that much of my butt was showing...hmmm.
- i also got really bothered by the fact that sometimes i really want to write music, like a song and i have an idea but no words, no tune. just a concept. and i get stuck. and i forget. Ahhh *sigh* music.
- i feel like a scrub, but the prospect of getting out of a hot shower to cold house...
- furnaces rock (except, for the obvious: when they break).
- even when it's cold out, and you're not wearing a hat, and you can't hear out of one ear, and you miss your bus twice, and walk through campus when it's 10 degrees...life is awesome.
- sometimes, i feel crazy.
Lastly, but not leastly...
- i am wondering why i don't heat up my jammies before bed every night. seriously, brilliant. Nothin' like a hot pair of pants.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Day 1
And so the semester begins. And I'm already overtired, under-caffeinated. Thus far though, I think I am going to enjoy my classes. It'll be good to have something concrete to occupy my time again, now as well. It was nice too because I was leaning more towards not going to school this semester, so I didn't have an upcoming semester to dread. And BAM now it's here.
I'm still not sure if I'll get in to the Intermediate Reporting and Writing class that I couldn't even get on the wait list for (long story). He said they choose who gets in based on credits, and I have probably the second most out of anyone in that class. So I hope I get in, because it seems a little less intimidating than the first news reporting class was to me, probably because I've taken one now. Plus I really like that professor, he's the kind who makes a lot of jokes and no one laughs. I love those, cause I'll laugh shamelessly. I'd laugh if he didn't want me to. Sometimes classes just have a hard time gauging when a professor is making fun of their self.
Then I had Visual Communication, which is going to be easy, mostly because it's a subject I really like in the first place. From the syllabus and what's expected of us, I think I will really enjoy. We analyzed a photograph today! Talk about my niche: photography, analyzing, and writing.
So tomorrow is my two arts classes. Which one will go alongside the Vis-Comm and help me there; it's Photography in America (an Art History course). The other is 1001 level, Concepts in Visual Art. I'm waitlisted on that, but I'm not too worried. I'm sure someone will drop.
My schedule is nicely spaced out, I even have my arts classes on one day, and my journalism classes on another. Lots of room for work, and homework, unlike last semester where it was all packed in. Except that'll mean more driving, too. I'll still be looking for a place, but I'm more picky this time around.
This coming weekend I'm visiting Sara in chicago! I'm bussing down there on Friday, which will be a nice long bus ride, but I'll just do homework...or sleep. I'll probably sleep, haha! I'm already plotting my playlist, of good songs to roll into chicago with. I can't wait to see her beautiful face!!!!!!! And giggle our butts off. And hug :)
Phone date!
I'm still not sure if I'll get in to the Intermediate Reporting and Writing class that I couldn't even get on the wait list for (long story). He said they choose who gets in based on credits, and I have probably the second most out of anyone in that class. So I hope I get in, because it seems a little less intimidating than the first news reporting class was to me, probably because I've taken one now. Plus I really like that professor, he's the kind who makes a lot of jokes and no one laughs. I love those, cause I'll laugh shamelessly. I'd laugh if he didn't want me to. Sometimes classes just have a hard time gauging when a professor is making fun of their self.
Then I had Visual Communication, which is going to be easy, mostly because it's a subject I really like in the first place. From the syllabus and what's expected of us, I think I will really enjoy. We analyzed a photograph today! Talk about my niche: photography, analyzing, and writing.
So tomorrow is my two arts classes. Which one will go alongside the Vis-Comm and help me there; it's Photography in America (an Art History course). The other is 1001 level, Concepts in Visual Art. I'm waitlisted on that, but I'm not too worried. I'm sure someone will drop.
My schedule is nicely spaced out, I even have my arts classes on one day, and my journalism classes on another. Lots of room for work, and homework, unlike last semester where it was all packed in. Except that'll mean more driving, too. I'll still be looking for a place, but I'm more picky this time around.
This coming weekend I'm visiting Sara in chicago! I'm bussing down there on Friday, which will be a nice long bus ride, but I'll just do homework...or sleep. I'll probably sleep, haha! I'm already plotting my playlist, of good songs to roll into chicago with. I can't wait to see her beautiful face!!!!!!! And giggle our butts off. And hug :)
Phone date!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
And it is 3A.M.
Things are fairing for the better, it seems. Maybe I had to come close to loosing a dream, I had to let the idea of it go in order to go forward with it.
I thought for sure I'd have to change up everything if I wanted to continue with journalism, but that's not the case now. I have another opportunity, and though it probably means I'll graduate later than I wanted to, I'm relieved. I feel (oddly) good having thought I wouldn't be going back, it makes the impending schedule and probably still inevitable chaos that is a new semester seem slightly less looming. I've had less time to ponder how my life will be heavily centered on school as of tuesday.
I'll start, and I'll get things settled (like what classes I'll be sticking with), and I'll go on a vacay. It's been a long time since I've been to the Windy City and only a mere 6 days since I've seen my best friend. I refuse to let Sara spend her birthday without me. Haha.
I was afraid of what today [friday; now technically 'yesterday'] would hold, and it turned out to be great. Low-key, but great. And so, Tomorrow, [now technically, 'today'] I fear you not; no, I embrace your possibility, and acknowledge your potential for either greatness or mediocrity, greatness or awfulness. We shall see. (And it is 3AM...)
I thought for sure I'd have to change up everything if I wanted to continue with journalism, but that's not the case now. I have another opportunity, and though it probably means I'll graduate later than I wanted to, I'm relieved. I feel (oddly) good having thought I wouldn't be going back, it makes the impending schedule and probably still inevitable chaos that is a new semester seem slightly less looming. I've had less time to ponder how my life will be heavily centered on school as of tuesday.
I'll start, and I'll get things settled (like what classes I'll be sticking with), and I'll go on a vacay. It's been a long time since I've been to the Windy City and only a mere 6 days since I've seen my best friend. I refuse to let Sara spend her birthday without me. Haha.
I was afraid of what today [friday; now technically 'yesterday'] would hold, and it turned out to be great. Low-key, but great. And so, Tomorrow, [now technically, 'today'] I fear you not; no, I embrace your possibility, and acknowledge your potential for either greatness or mediocrity, greatness or awfulness. We shall see. (And it is 3AM...)
Saturday, January 09, 2010
Pretend
I just want to curl up in my bed,
Pretend that world outside of me doesn't exist for a moment,
That time moves slow,
That I can see myself grow,
I say pretend,
Because I know it won't change in the end,
And I know,
That I can't see how this will mend,
But for now,
I'll curl up,
Pretend that the world outside of me doesn't exist,
For a moment,
Then everything might not be so potent,
I'll just lay here a while,
With my thoughts,
And with my God,
My back to Him,
I'll ask him questions,
But I'll hear no answers,
Because my head is clouded,
My ears are packed inside,
With all the pieces of my broken pride,
And I can't pretend,
So I'll just lay here,
Wait for something to bend,
And break free,
Reconciling me.
Pretend that world outside of me doesn't exist for a moment,
That time moves slow,
That I can see myself grow,
I say pretend,
Because I know it won't change in the end,
And I know,
That I can't see how this will mend,
But for now,
I'll curl up,
Pretend that the world outside of me doesn't exist,
For a moment,
Then everything might not be so potent,
I'll just lay here a while,
With my thoughts,
And with my God,
My back to Him,
I'll ask him questions,
But I'll hear no answers,
Because my head is clouded,
My ears are packed inside,
With all the pieces of my broken pride,
And I can't pretend,
So I'll just lay here,
Wait for something to bend,
And break free,
Reconciling me.
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
The Irony of Life
Life sometimes gets so ridiculously ironic that you have to laugh. Amidst all the stress, the anxiety, the tension, etc. you have to laugh. I have to laugh, or I probably wouldn't make it very far, this I know.
This was a tricky semester for me. I've been speculating for the last couple weeks since my first grade came in, about what I could've done to change it. But I know myself; I know me. I made some bad choices, and over again, I'd probably make more bad choices.
News Reporting and Writing was my favorite class. I actually looked forward to that class. I enjoyed my time in that class. I actually felt like I was learning useful things in that class. I never thought I'd get a C in that class. The one class I thoroughly enjoyed this semester.
All semester long I was worried about my biology class. That is something to worry about, for me. A class full of writing? Not so much. A class full of scientific anything? Definitely a point of concern. The funny part is, I took that class satisfactory/non, and I was "satisfactory". Now, the class in my major is what's biting me in the butt.
And there's nothing I can do but pray, and wait. The semester starts in 13 days, and I don't know if I'm going back. I'm 26 credits away from a degree.
So much is up in the air, and so much would seem not to make sense if I don't go back, but I'm trusting...or attempting to trust that if it's not this, there's something else.
It's confusing to feel that you've found your path, and then suddenly it changes...but you don't even know what you're moving towards. So I wonder, what am I moving towards?
This was a tricky semester for me. I've been speculating for the last couple weeks since my first grade came in, about what I could've done to change it. But I know myself; I know me. I made some bad choices, and over again, I'd probably make more bad choices.
News Reporting and Writing was my favorite class. I actually looked forward to that class. I enjoyed my time in that class. I actually felt like I was learning useful things in that class. I never thought I'd get a C in that class. The one class I thoroughly enjoyed this semester.
All semester long I was worried about my biology class. That is something to worry about, for me. A class full of writing? Not so much. A class full of scientific anything? Definitely a point of concern. The funny part is, I took that class satisfactory/non, and I was "satisfactory". Now, the class in my major is what's biting me in the butt.
And there's nothing I can do but pray, and wait. The semester starts in 13 days, and I don't know if I'm going back. I'm 26 credits away from a degree.
So much is up in the air, and so much would seem not to make sense if I don't go back, but I'm trusting...or attempting to trust that if it's not this, there's something else.
It's confusing to feel that you've found your path, and then suddenly it changes...but you don't even know what you're moving towards. So I wonder, what am I moving towards?
Tomorrow
Tomorrow I hold in an open hand,
Even if there's a fate I can't understand,
What I will do if all I have planned,
Slips through my fingers like grains of sand?
Day to day so much is unknown,
And it feels like I'm alone,
Trusting in seeds that have yet to be sown,
Knowing that none of this is done on my own,
But what if He takes it only to replace it,
And what of the new picture if I deface it,
Or try to rework it and then decide to erase it?
If it doesn't work now dare I chase it?
Words are at a loss,
Nothing said can make right,
The one chance, only chance,
Is lost without fight,
So I close my eyes,
Hold out open hands,
Walk into the darkness,
Hope to find where He stands.
Even if there's a fate I can't understand,
What I will do if all I have planned,
Slips through my fingers like grains of sand?
Day to day so much is unknown,
And it feels like I'm alone,
Trusting in seeds that have yet to be sown,
Knowing that none of this is done on my own,
But what if He takes it only to replace it,
And what of the new picture if I deface it,
Or try to rework it and then decide to erase it?
If it doesn't work now dare I chase it?
Words are at a loss,
Nothing said can make right,
The one chance, only chance,
Is lost without fight,
So I close my eyes,
Hold out open hands,
Walk into the darkness,
Hope to find where He stands.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Help w/ New Blog Name!
I am so in love with Greg Laswell right now it's not even a joke. He's definitely going to be either my first, or one of my first blog posts on my new music blog! It's not necessarily about new music...but it's new, and it's gonna be about music. I need a cute title. Apparently the title of this blog is cheesy (thanks, carrie), but I like it hence it does not change. So once I have a good title I will launch it, and post its address on this one, so that all or none may read it.
Don't expect it to be too good, cause I feel that sometimes I overestimate my writing abilities. Thankfully the artfulness of writing (or lack thereof) used in a blog cannot be judged, there isn't really a ruler by which to be measured. Doesn't mean my thoughts aren't just pointless enough that I shouldn't bother to write them out.
I've gone through a lot of phases in my music listening career. Some songs from all the phases have stuck with me as favorites, but it's interesting because I can't really define my taste.
Currently, I'm really liking stuff like Greg Laswell, Bon Iver, Jose Gonzalez (though I only own 3 songs of his), and Band of Horses. I'm horrible at learning about new music. It only makes its way to me after most others have already heard of it, haha. That is my certifiable pitfall to this upcoming blog, I don't really plan on writing about stuff people haven't heard of, because I haven't heard of that stuff. Haha. So feel free to pitch me a copy of a CD, if you think it'd be good to write about.
When this little project will begin, I can't say because I need to ponder a good name. I can't start writing without a solid blog name. So for now, that's what's going down.
Don't expect it to be too good, cause I feel that sometimes I overestimate my writing abilities. Thankfully the artfulness of writing (or lack thereof) used in a blog cannot be judged, there isn't really a ruler by which to be measured. Doesn't mean my thoughts aren't just pointless enough that I shouldn't bother to write them out.
I've gone through a lot of phases in my music listening career. Some songs from all the phases have stuck with me as favorites, but it's interesting because I can't really define my taste.
Currently, I'm really liking stuff like Greg Laswell, Bon Iver, Jose Gonzalez (though I only own 3 songs of his), and Band of Horses. I'm horrible at learning about new music. It only makes its way to me after most others have already heard of it, haha. That is my certifiable pitfall to this upcoming blog, I don't really plan on writing about stuff people haven't heard of, because I haven't heard of that stuff. Haha. So feel free to pitch me a copy of a CD, if you think it'd be good to write about.
When this little project will begin, I can't say because I need to ponder a good name. I can't start writing without a solid blog name. So for now, that's what's going down.
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