Funny Friday

I'm kinda bummed, I just found out my new-found campus coffee shop went out of business today! That building stank like nothing else, but the cute little people that worked there and the BRIGHT BLUE paint on the walls made me happy. They also happened to make kick-ass espresso...I feel yer pain, man who owned the business, wherever you are...just another barista out of work.

I had an interesting friday. A midterm in my first journalism class, followed by a really interesting speaker, an executive producer from NYC's public radio station who happens to be that professor's son. He did a great job and it was really interesting.

French was alright, we had a lab. We were researching cities through this website, and I was looking into Versailles. I learned (ha). It was the place that Louis-the-whatever and Marie Antoinette had their chateau! Gorgeous buildings! Anything the two of them had anything to do with, gorgeous buildings. Then there was this place called La Galerie des Glaces (Hall of Mirrors), that had over 400 mirrors! Anyways, it seemed like it'd be an interesting city to visit. My professor came around and asked me what city I did, and she told me it's about an hour's train ride from Paris, ideal for a day-trip if ever I were to go. So I told her I'm trying to go next fall, and we talked a bit about that. She said I wouldn't be able to take the next class before I went, but she didn't seem entirely unsure of my french language skills which was nice. She's intimidating in this weird way, so I don't speak very good french in class. I know I know it better than I project. At any rate, it was cool to have encouragement from someone who's been there and is also passionate about the language!

A zit the size of a pea grew in on the bottom of my chin today in a matter of hours. Honestly, it wasn't there at 1 o clock today and BAM! I noticed it around 7. It's very strange, I'm slightly worried. It's also unbelievably attractive (but quite possibly unnoticed by someone who doesn't know my face as well as I do).

I was really excited yesterday to find that redbox added some older movies to its repertoire, one of them being Black Hawk Down which I've wanted to see for like 3 years now, but didn't want to spend the $5 renting it only to be disappointed/depressed (it was depressing, although not disappointing). They also had the latest Audrey Tatou movie! I was really excited because, again I'm too cheap anymore to rent from Blockbuster, etc. I can't even tell how much money I've spent at redbox in the last 6 months...a lot. Summer's worse. So I started the French movie today, but then Carrie wanted to go to Uptown so I only just barely got into it.

We went to uptown, decided to hit up this little thrift store that was pretty cute. They had a lot of retro stuff that I would've tore through more avidly except that I was SO tired I was barely staying awake standing up. Carrie was eager enough for the both of us (that's fairly normal, though). We went to Zeno's again, - I say again, but it's been a long, long time since we went there before and got hit on by the creepy group of 50-something year old men. We sat and had a yummy french press that I would've appreciated more had I not stupidly attempted to put half&half in it. BLECH! I HATE HALF AND HALF, I don't know why I even bothered. I knew that already.

Then we were hungry so we went to Lund's so she could touch up her make-up before we'd head to dinner somewhere. We decided on Famous Dave's. We stopped in at another clothing store which, I'm sorry to say, I don't know how they stay in business with the prices they had on freaking plain t-shirts that were hazard orange! We had our fair share of laughs there...that's a whole other story...and finally headed to dinner. We were a bit guy crazy, checking them out...but actually not that bad for us. Haha.

On the bus on the way home, this guy goes up to the front and chats with the bus driver a while. Then about 5 blocks from our stop, he comes back and sits down across the aisle from us, and says "I'm sorry to bother you ladies, but I'm just wondering if you know North East (our neighborhood)."
Carrie, "Yeah, actually I do"
He asks where a specific place is, if it's on the route. No. Do we know anywhere on the route to go, they've been hanging out in Uptown a little too much. Nothing's on the route, really. Where are you (us) guys headed, headed home? Yeah. Callin' it quits kinda early for a friday night...Yeah, we were already out at F.D. In uptown? Yeah. Oh ok, well do you know of anywhere else.

It kinda went on until literally our stop and he barely let Carrie get off the bus. I was thinking seriously dude, just let it go we're not going out with you. I didn't do much of the talking, I don't know the area or buses as well, and I was far too distracted by his (nast) chest hair that was practically trying to escape via the collar of his t-shirt. It was gross, but I just couldn't not look at it. *Shudders* Carrie said he had been sitting further behind us with his friend. Ha, sorry fellas! Not these girls!

We had quite a silly time, with all sorts more stories, but that was my particular favorite, family-friendly story. Haha. That sounds worse than it should...

Off to finish my french movie and a nice cup of tea!

Another Break From Facebook

So here's the deal, at church on sunday the sermon was about fasting. It was not among my favorite sermons, but I understood they needed to plug for it with lent coming up and all. I was kinda zoney, not paying the best attention but then I forced myself to. The pastor talked about how fasting can take something in your life that is distracting and turn the focus away from that to God; it can shift your dependence. I thought about what I might give up for lent, not a 40 day food-fast because my stomach has been voicing its hunger very loudly, only at inconvenient times such as when I'm in a quiet lecture.

The first thing that came to mind for me was Facebook. It is so time consuming, even though it's mostly in little increments between other tasks. It's down right distracting! I think I could benefit from falling away from the social networking world (which is kind of ridiculous in the first place if you really think about it) and possibly actually keep up with the reading in my classes. That might also be a dream far too big...

And sometimes when I step back and look at how my generation is so wrapped up in it, it's kind of sad. I fear we are going to end up socially-retarded, as will our children. But that's a whole other issue.

If you'd like, you can follow my blog which is listed on my profile, as well as a documentary blog I have to do for one of my classes on my experiences at the U. That one might turn out to be pretty interesting (or pretty boring...it's a toss up with my writing, in my opinion). Also I have a flickr account for if I have photos that I need to post. I also have email listed on my facebook, the MSN or UMN are the best to reach me at. Also, my cell phone and anyone who should have that number does! So texts and calls, and voicemails :)

See you all on Good Friday? ...or is it Easter Sunday? Meh, sometime in there!

~"I'm just not the same, As I was a year ago and each minute since then..." - snow patrol~

The Realm of Affection

Maybe I should be the girl that talks a lot,
Instead of holding back like I'm something I'm not,
I can't quite decide,
If there's anything I should hide,
Cause I don't like how it feels,
When a part of you reels,
Back from me,
You see,
I don't want to grow further apart,
That would only take a toll on my heart,
Which was weak as it is,
From a previous breaking,
Barely mended when I met you,
But still up for the taking,
So now I walk very carefully,
In the realm of affection,
Taking care to head a sensible direction,
The problem is I'm not sure if there's connection,
And it's not that I'm searching out perfection,
I'm just not sure how you feel,
And until I do,
I won't reveal,
My feelings, and so I fear,
That nothing of significance will happen here.

A Reccuring Theme, I Deduct

Saturday night, after a day of watching 5, yes, 5! oscar nominees in (essentially) a straight shot, I talked with my parents for a while, then headed home at a lovely 2 in the morning. Our back lot was full, which upset me because I thought that we had a reserved parking spot for our apartment. I had to park on the street. I probably finally fell asleep, cozy in my own little bed at 3. 

The next morning I barely crawled out of bed in time for church. For as much as I love sleep, I really like going to my new found church! I put on my coat in a hurry, after stuffing my cell phone in my hoodie-pocket. As I walked out the door, I looked down the street to see the plows coming my way. We're not a snow emergency street, but I was already late so I didn't want to get stuck behind the plow trucks. I ran out to my car, hopped in and beat the trucks! 

When I got to church I dug through the chaos that is my purse to turn my phone on silent. I couldn't find it, but kept digging, eventually coming to the conclusion I must've left it at home, and hoping that if I was wrong I wouldn't get a phone call during church! So Carrie and I went to lunch after church, me still without cell phone. Afterwards, I drove us back to my apartment to run in and grab my phone before I dropped her off at home. I ran into my apartment, searched all the usual possible places to no avail. I ran back out to the car where Carrie was waiting. I told her to come in with me and call it, which we did again to no avail.

Finally, I conclude I must've dropped it in the snow...which was great because the plows went by right after I hopped in my car and drove away! I walked along where I was previously parked, looking in the snow hoping it would be comfortably laying somewhere as Carrie called it. Suddenly we heard ringing, and both began to laugh. "It's coming from the snow bank; the snow bank is ringing!" I couldn't help but comment. Carrie pointed down, "There it is, I see the lights!" (my phone has lights on the side that flash for calls, etc.). I began kicking through the snow bank trying to find it, only to realize it was right behind my foot. I picked it up, still ringing. It's perfectly fine. 

This is my life.

Thursday Thoughts

I have not been very motivated to do homework lately. I did some tonight, but it was blogging for my journalism class. I was going to crack down on my french...go figure we had NO assignments today.

I took a pretty sweet power nap today. I would've slept longer, but it probably would've only made me more tired. I slept a grand total of 16 minutes. It was weird cause I woke up and it felt like I passed out! I was awake instantly, but I didn't remember falling asleep. It was a really awesome nap! Rejuvenating in a short amount of time.

I'm psyched out by my brother's 23 birthday! He's getting so grown up, haha! He'll probably get offended in one of two ways, but I don't even know why it's weird.

I have had a hankering to take a bath. I haven't taken a bath since I was like 9. Honestly, I have not since then. I probably shouldn't when I'm so tired though, haha. I shouldn't even joke!

I thought I drove to bloomington and back enough times last week but by sunday night this week i will have made, trips to or from, 8 times. Last week, I don't even know, I think I was there 5 days out of 7? Too much! Haha.

That's all the interesting thoughts I have before I hit the hay. Signing off...

Thoughts on a Monday Gone By

In high school when I had to take the bus, I ran to the bus stop every day. I called it my morning run. I hit a new low today: I ran the whole way to my bus stop, and determined not to miss the bus, I ran in front of a car to catch my bus. Hey, life is short, don't miss class!

I watched movies in 3 out of 4 of my classes today, in the odd one out we watched YouTube videos anyways so it might as well count. I guess it's not all that shocking to watch a movie in documentary cinema...but still, 3 out of 4.

I've decided film students are pretty cute ;)

I have half a gallon of milk left that expires today...clearly I have not been drinking enough of it, nor eating enough cereal. I'm almost out of bread. I'm out of my on-the-go breakfast (aka cereal bars). I have only water and soon-to-be rotten milk to drink.

I successfully escaped the potential snare of a creeper who was continually buzzing someone in my building, and hanging out on our front stoop. I didn't want to use the back door because it's fenced in back there aside from the driveway, and I really didn't want him to go back there. I have to remember to take the mace with me on night walks.

Ha, I'm in college: my doc. cin. Professor handed out candy today...to a class that's roughly, I'd say 120 people. She's a total goof-ball, but that's a huge part of why I love that class!

I always get hungry during class. I'm not usually the type of person to get stomach-growling hungry, but I have been every time I'm in class this semester. I get hungry. It's weird. Basically the only time I eat meals (dinner being the exception) is during class.

I have a list of phone calls I need to make, but haven't yet because I don't like the phone. I really should make these calls, though...argh! I hate insurance companies, & comcast, & the domino's on east bank...and phones. I just know they're all going to be rude to me, so I don't want to call.

I need to decide between one expensive fun thing, and several expensive fun things (i.e. coffee trips). The one expensive thing, well it's a surprise. I can't tell yet.

iTunes is detrimental to my bank account, mainly because I love piano music...and acoustic music. I keep discovering more. And my friends don't help! I have no job, but I can't stop downloading...ahhhhH!

I look like crap. I let my hair do its hippie free love thing when I got out of the shower this morning, and now it just looks like crap. My make up looks like crap. I feel like I look like crap, lol. Thank God it's 11 o clock and the only one to see me now, loves me no matter what I look like...or smell like. Haha.

I love the weather right now. It's my perfect winter weather, although I'm sure it doesn't count as such. I thought that waiting for the bus, and walking home. It's so refreshing.

Silenced by Fear of Swimming Against the Current

I try to say I hate talking politics, when not many years ago I'd love a good debate. I say I hate them, but really it's that I find them pointless. It's that I get so passionate about the issues, and my beliefs versus another's, but it never does any good. It never goes anywhere. It's along the lines of a tree falling in a forest.

I don't like to talk politics because I never make my voice big. I'm not the type to stand up and state my opinion, because in general I don't like to make a scene of myself, but also it seems to do no good. It seems like any valid point I'd put out in the atmosphere of political conversation, is like throwing a pebble into the ocean; it does not change the tides.

I find this interesting because people have been saying over the last year or so that we have a voice now more than ever...I think it's a load of crap. Things get big like this; like they are now, people go with the trend. There really isn't a single voice that can speak up for change. Some would say in response, "That's true, but the American people spoke up for change in November", but to that I say the people also spoke up for a change in 2000. Who's to say it's not just cyclical? It's the mob-mentality; people seem to think we need one thing one minute, and a different thing the next because that's what everyone thinks. A crowd drowns out a single voice no matter how powerful the message.

One of the things I've heard paraphrased most by "average americans" interviewed by the media is that "we really have a voice now", "we finally have someone who can represent the american people". How is he any more qualified to do that? How do we have more of a voice now? I must be the sole person blind to this change, but I just don't see it. If anything, I feel like I have been muted; I feel like I have less of a voice now than ever and it really has nothing to do with Obama (except that my ability to have my word will only be lessened by him in the inevitable breaking down of the constitution). It's that one opinion seems to be publicly pushed then it's hard to disagree. I find myself silenced by the fear of swimming against the current.

It makes me wonder, are people just that caught up in the media's hype over President Obama? That they are now truly able to have a voice?

There Was a Time I Could Play a Song

There was a time I could play a song,
But since I played it's been so long,
That every time I try I get it wrong,
I close my eyes to remember each key stroked,
Only an ache in my heart this memory provoked,
And sometimes,
You just,
Give up,
Sometimes,
You just,
Give up,
And you wait on something new,
Something to fill the void in you,
You wait,
Longing for something,
If only a fraction as great,
And the tears get old, so old they don't sting,
Even when you think of how we used to sing...
I smile,
As I'm no longer in denial,
Romanticizing how things were,
Not knowing what they weren't,
Just touching wounds of old,
From when I was burnt,
And you,
You'll call,
But won't be there if I should fall,
Which makes it hurt worst of all.

I close my eyes to remember each joke,
Before I know it on the memories I choke,
Back all I had once repressed,
Then readdressed,
Only to,
Watch it all disappear with you,

There was a time I could play a song,
Yes, I knew it well by heart,
And since I haven't played for long,
I forgot it all, in part,
If I should try I'd play it wrong,
There was a time,
I didn't know how I'd forget,
Or that I'd be living with regret;
I could play a song.

Sometimes, you just need a hug.

Being sick doesn't make feeling lonely any easier. I just saw my family yesterday and you'd think it'd tide me over...nope. 3 hours is just not enough! Cause when I'm sick at home, my mom will always give me a hug anyways, which I think is crazy...but sometimes a hug makes it suck that much less.

I could use a mommy-hug right now.

I have this long list of people i miss, it's a poo! I'm having withdrawals, haha. People-withdrawals. It's like a bunch of people who I miss and would really like to see! Be warned, if we do succeed in a get together, I may be REALLY talkative...(to the point I actually annoyed my DAD the other day! ha, that never happens, someone talking enough to annoy the king of non-stop talking. I have achieved a form of greatness...)

Anywho, yeah, I just miss everybody! A lot :( <3

DISCLAIMER: I have to do these a lot, haha. I am not to be worried about, I'm just informing you people I miss you...to put a little pressure on!

Where The Street Bends

As I dreamt last night,
I felt something wasn't right,
I saw the tears in his eyes,
He wept, silent behind her cries,
Red and blue colliding with everything,
Shooting off into an unforgiving night,
A horrible mixture of gleaming light,
Metal twisted, broken and smashed,
I get the feeling something crashed,
Sprawled all over the pavement,
Forever there a memory's engravement,
That street will always haunt them,
They were my friends,
Now their hearts will ache for me,
When they drive where the street bends.

I'm still trying to avoid my homework...

HA! My facebook knows me all too well:

I looked over on the side where the ads are and one was titled: "Do you want a boyfriend?" and a picture of a guy sitting in front of his computer with a quizzical look on his face, I answer "yes," then further read the ad, what's written under the picture and it says "Of course you do."

Ha, eerily weird.

Where is this going...if anywhere, at all?

Even when I try to hold back, keep my cool I end up messing it up. I always say something that has a different connotation than what I mean. Why can't it just be easy? Why can't the words just come out of my mouth and into his ears? I try to tell myself not to get my head too into it, just in case...in case it ends up like any before. They always seem different. This was different, but I don't know why; for what reason, if only to go nowhere. I hate going nowhere; it's why I don't particularly care for running unless it serves a destinational purpose or I'm preoccupied enough to need to run while I think. That's why this is constantly running loose in my brain, I hate wasting all or any of my heart on something that's meant for nothing.

The one of the reasons it seems so different is cause every time I think it's really going nowhere, it takes another baby step.

The Girl Who Cried Brainless

I love to pretend that I'm stupid; I love to lead people to believe I truly don't understand a majority of all things spoken or conceived. My love for this can partially be blamed on laziness because for the most part, people won't expect anything out of you if they think you're stupid. I won't be dragged into "intellectual conversations" that will inevitably go nowhere, or asked to talk about politics. I generally employ this portrayal of stupidity in cases that I'm not necessarily worried the person will fall for it. I would say I do it around people I don't care about, but that's not particularly true.

It can often lead to a problem, in that I only hold to this practice for a certain amount of time until I'm fairly comfortable with someone. Then, when I try to show that I am in fact not as dumb as I like to play, they don't buy it. I become the girl who cried brainless. Most of the time, it doesn't bother me too much, but when I try my hardest to convince someone that I am in fact not a complete ditz (very choice words here because I can be ditsy) and they still don't believe me, it gets me. I think it's because I fear they won't respect me if they don't discover it's an act that stems from my initial shy side. It rears its ugly head when that one intellectual conversation worms its way in, and my points are dubbed invalid because I've painted myself as a non-thinker when I am in fact the opposite.

It's funny because I bring it upon myself; I could filter the things that try to come out of my mouth, the stupid thoughts that are meant to remain only to my knowledge. I don't. It's amusing, because I know that everyone has stupid thoughts and some people are just too proud to voice them. Me, I enjoy the looks on faces, and the reactions to those little whims. It is a great joy of life to make someone think about something in an attempt to understand it, especially when it is a thought sailing through your mind that even you can't quite explain. (A quote comes to mind "I am 2 messages away from bridging the gap to redundancy." - what can I say? I have near-profound thoughts when I'm half asleep.)

I think it's almost a feat of bravery, to expel so many wily ideas for the world to chew up and spit out. Plus, life is short and I like being silly; so let them judge me, or let them accept me.