Even when I try to hold back, keep my cool I end up messing it up. I always say something that has a different connotation than what I mean. Why can't it just be easy? Why can't the words just come out of my mouth and into his ears? I try to tell myself not to get my head too into it, just in case...in case it ends up like any before. They always seem different. This was different, but I don't know why; for what reason, if only to go nowhere. I hate going nowhere; it's why I don't particularly care for running unless it serves a destinational purpose or I'm preoccupied enough to need to run while I think. That's why this is constantly running loose in my brain, I hate wasting all or any of my heart on something that's meant for nothing.
The one of the reasons it seems so different is cause every time I think it's really going nowhere, it takes another baby step.
