I'm becoming more and more suffocated by my future life. It's like an impending evil. I don't want to figure out what I want to do with my life, I have a fear of not doing it right the first time. I think with any of the mistakes my siblings have made, and all the accomplishments they have, i have a small amount of wiggle room.
I've pretty much decided now that I don't want to go to MCAD. Wonderful. I have no REAL plans for my future life. I was being told i was wise for mapping out my life, now i don't know where i want to go, besides not hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. Far, far away from debt. I don't even know what i want to do with my degree, which has never bothered me. But i know Photography. I know Bachelor's degree. I know study abroad in Ireland & Paris. I know cheap. I know close. I just don't know where. What school. What school offers all that i need!
I'm rethinking the U of M, but i still haven't figured out if they DO or DO NOT offer photography because i've heard both! That WAS my ideal school, but then i read they don't offer my major. But i know someone who got a degree in it. AND they have a build your major program. But i want to go somewhere that they have a variety of photo classes so that going is worth it. I want a jam-packed photo education. I don't need to waste my time on other random classes, unless they are the classes that are offered in my study abroad programs then i'll take whatever.
I'm still interested in seeing what i DO end up doing with my life. I'm interested in experiencing the future, but i'm scared of other people's judgments on my life choices.
I think that people should look at their own lives before they ponder other peoples'. I don't think people these days look at themselves enough. They think about themselves a lot, but they don't try to admit they're wrong and change. It's like changing is something you should be ashamed of. Ugh! Society! The world!
