I want to do everything. I want to do everything in life. Even the things I'm scared of, I want to do. When I get bored; when my life appears boring, I go into this possibly unhealthy place where I think of all the possibilities for right now. The reason it's potentially unhealthy is because it's probably not helping me feel content with my life.
I get demanding. I want to see things happen, things move. When they're not what I want, or not exciting I want to shake things up.
This is far beyond a desire for an exciting life. Don't think that I just think I'm special and get to have more fun than others. I do, in some ways (haha) but there's a kind of person who can dig their hole and lay down in it, and just - well, avoiding the outright mordbid, - wait. I'm not that person. I think there is something special to someone who is open and ready for heavily dynamic life. Not that you could ever be ready for it all...but there's something about having a wandering heart and just enough courage to chase those dreams.
Some people want the white picket fence and the two-point-five kids, and there's nothing wrong with that; we all have our own cravings, desires, and functions. There are some that crave to move, desire to see, and function out of water, so to speak.
There's nothing wrong with that. I'm a runner. I'm not a commit-aphob, though most of my personality tests will say that (they dually refer to my type as loyal). When things aren't how I want, or envision, I go. Because they're inevitable to be different if the scenery, circumstances, people are all different. Don't think I'm just a quitter, or a scaredy-cat; I've been conditioned. It's my coping mechanism: walk off.
So I was thinking today, of all the things I could do. The places I could go. The adventures I could have. I let myself vacation in a fantasy land where problem A. will be solved, or thing X will disappear. And like I said, I don't think there's anything wrong with being full of wanderlust, but you have to know if you're prone to escaping and you have to know yourself well enough to not to let yourself do it.
I let myself make bookmarks, and do research. And then I go to sleep, and I get back up. I live my life, until the real need for change comes. I wait hopefully for the wanderlust to be satisfied. In life thus far, I have learned: the journey you end up on is way better than the one you had planned.
