I deposited a small boat-load of money to YWAM. So this is the commitment. I thought I was committed in you know, May...yesterday, I committed.
I was a little bit avoiding doing it, but the more practical, ignore your fears side of me got me to the bank before I could freak out. This sounds bad, but I'm just being honest here. I was scared, because that IS commitment! It gets a little harder to suddenly change my mind for whatever reason when I've got literal investment.
Yesterday it hit me, in 36 days I will be boarding a plane to go live somewhere not here...for six months. I couldn't think about it for too long because it'd probably floor me and I was at work but wow. It hasn't even really sunk in for me!
There is a bit of intrigue for me as far as what it will be like to move away from everything I am so comfortable with. There are things I'm definitely ready to part ways with for a while...but for the things I'm not, I know it will be a difficult but good experience for me.
And that's the thing, right now because it is really coming up and I have really committed, I'm thinking more about the leaving than anything else.
You know, it's funny the situations I put myself in; I am a horribly sentimental person, I get too attached too quickly, and I'm moving somewhere for three months, then traveling for three months, all the while leaving everything I've ever known! I feel crazy when I think about the trip, then I put myself as x in the equation...it's not even close to logical math. But I'm going to. In 36 days.
