Over my single-dom, I have had both the good and bad fortune to listen to people's relationship problems. There have been times, several recently that I've found myself very discouraged by others' relationships. It's to the point of thinking, maybe never having one would be better, - which, if you knew me as well as I do, is very unlike me.
Essentially, I've come to a point where I both desire and fear romantic relationship. Maybe it's because I take it so seriously, that I don't just want to date to not be single; maybe that mindset makes the whole idea more heavy. But really, I feel like it's so seldom done well, that the idea of even taking a crack at it makes me nervous.
People are so much better at hurting each other, and putting themselves first than being in a healthy relationship. Man, I sound jaded and I've never even myself dated. Then I think, it can't be completely horrendous if I find someone who thinks like me, but that seems impossible. It seems like waiting for the kind of person you want leaves you with fermented eggs and watching Matthew McConaughey movies with your 7 cats.
I mean not to take this down a comedic road, so I'll set myself on track again...
The thing I came to realize tonight while in discussion with my best friend - thank the Lord for her - is that relationships are not stereotypical. We try to make them so, to make things "easier". But in all reality, each relationship is different.
There are far too many variables: who you are, who they are, your pasts, what you're going through now, what your expectations - goals - fears are for the future. There are so many factors that not one relationship is comparable to another! There are no real expectations, there's no real time-line, there's no real stencil to how it's done.
This revelation to an extent makes the whole thing that much more nerve-racking! It also made me breathe a little easier. That the advice people have, I can take or I can leave. The problems they have, will not be mine. The time they take or don't, will be different. The limitations and standards they have will not be the same. Everything will be what it is for me and whoever I'm with because there really is no standard measure. Not any relationship is the same as another.
"you're effortless, you know you are, and all i want to do, is let you lead me off into the dusk" - tired pony
