I'd never known a despair,
Like the one that hung in the air,
The darkest of my life those days in september,
It only barely stings now to stop and remember,
Still the heavy weight of the hurt and the hate,
Is somewhere in my soul,
Wondering if I'll ever fill that hole,
To think of all the tears that I cried,
Because they never tried to think of me,
And where I'd be,
In the minutes, days, and weeks after what they said,
When I'd toil it over and over in my head,
Now in my heart a tender ache,
Only a fraction of the feeling,
An ongoing struggle of healing,
And I can never dwell too long,
On the things that I felt so strong,
I try not to think of how my heart broke,
Then I force myself to choke back tears again,
Though I cried plenty then,
Til my nose ran red,
I wish you knew what you said,
Could leave such a stain on me,
Then possibly we would be,
Somewhere different than we are now,
But I can't help to think how
Despite the pain you donned on me,
Without you I'm better than with you I'd be.
