So the thing about me is this: I'm a verbal processor. I need to discuss things and work out all the possible angles and each one of their outcomes...I need to beat the horse til it's good and dead. (What a morbid phrase!) Have any kind of fork in the road, and too much time alone, and I find myself writing to figure things out.
I guess that's my mistake, that these are the types of things that I usually talk over with my best friend or with my mom...people who understand really well where I'm coming from. People that understand when to take me with a grain (or small mountain) of salt.
For those of you that do not yet understand or know this about me; take note. Yes, it is my way of freaking out, but sometimes for me panicking a little is the best way to deal with the chance that the worst does happen. It's that tiny 1/8 of me that's a pessimist (I think 1/8 is about an accurate estimation, given I had to make one) having it's way in a mostly hopeful spirit. It's the battle of my better half versus my lesser; grace vs. my humanity.
I'm only human, and I think that means I have the right to freak out a little when my dreams are hanging in the balance [YET AGAIN]. My passion, what I want to do with my life; it's all inching itself away every time I feel like I'm getting closer to it. I think most people would freak out a little more than even I have, if that were the case in their life.
This is the best I can do to handle it with grace. I'd appreciate if others do the same.
Also, guys, my mom reads this stuff...take from that what you want.
