Standing Still & Silent

Can I have your hand,
To hold near my chest,
Nearest my heart,
Then I can rest,
Cause what I see in your eyes,
Is wonderful and true,
They paint a picture of what I see in you,
They glimmer and glisten,
Quiet, like children who listen,
Can you feel my heart pounding,
Excitement resounding,
As I stand enwrapped in you,
Standing still and silent,
I can tell you're in it too,
Strong, frightening, and violent,
Keeping them closed just to see such a sight,
Breathing steady,
Hearts are ready,
To take such a daring flight.

~This is an old one that I'm not quite sure why I didn't post, but I came across it again and thought it should be posted.~

Blah, blah, blah - BLOCKED!

Funny how I state photography as my passion, my decided career path...and writing gets me creatively flowing. Ha! I can't even figure myself out. I have a headache, I'm really overtired and I just want to nap. But I have this impending project that I SHOULD finish. Should. I really just want to take a nap. It's my weekend, I don't want to think about school. That is the last thing on my mind...sorta.

I'm just not good with the whole forced to be creative thing. Which is funny cause why did I sign up a photo class?? Stupid! I'll figure something out, I usually do. Signing off to take a nap.

My thoughts before I dive into my pile of homework...

I have the urge to writes songs right now, but I don't know what about. Just to write songs. I get like a single line, but i don't know whether to make a chorus out of it or a verse, then i don't know what else to surround it with. I just get one line, or phrase.

I'm really tired, and yet i'm procrastinating the crazy workload that i have ahead of me. What else is new? I don't even know quite how big. I guess i'll find out.

I bragged today, i don't like it when i brag. I reflect later and think, wow i probably sounded like a big douche. Probably. I don't like bragging. It's kinda like my interrupting problem, i know i do it, but i haven't figured out how to stop it before it comes out of my mouth. It's bad, and when i interrupt, i usually am too afraid to say sorry, for some weird reason.

I'm trying to get all my creativity and thought out now, so as to clear the ADD from my brain leaving room for the academic mumbo-jumbo to flow.

I feel like from now until monday at about 3 pm i am going to be absolutely beat! I do get SOME recreation this weekend, but even that feels like it will be squished.

See, i have my lease favorite thing about French class on monday. And i can't seem to get out of my head (hence, i'm trying to by writing this) about it. So i'm already fearing it, when it's 3 days away. I just forgot everything. It all fled my brain in a giant hurry after this past spring semester. POOF! Gone. I usually tend to overract about these though, which is me not being able to get out of my head.

I should quit now. Writing that is. I'm scared...here goes!

At Peace

I'm currently enjoying some coldplay and not really concerned with the fact that I should be asleep right now. I feel very relaxed. I have felt very at peace with life's standings right now, that doesn't happen all that often. I'm a worrier. It's nice to just sit and relax my mind and not really worry. Things'll work out in the end, however they're supposed to. Maybe it's the quietness of a cool fall night, combined with cars rushing by on the freeway off in the distance, and a good coldplay tune or two but this is the most relaxed I've felt for a long time. That is my only thought (I've apparently broken the creative thinking block just by confronting it, funny how that works, eh?) for the evening because suddenly my relaxation and peace translated into tiredness.

The Love You Left Behind

Tell me how it got so bad,
That you would sacrifice everything you had,
What was it that made you turn away,
Fearing to face another day,
What is there to bind,
You to the love you left behind,
Maybe you didn't know,
Just how cherished you were,
Maybe you were scared of the flow,
Of the days that began to blur,
Whatever the case you're missed dearly,
And though I don't know you,
You were loved, clearly.

Today's Life Lesson [After 6 Months in the Making]

It's seriously odd how I can have so many billions of thoughts every day that I want to express, but can't find anything to say. I don't know if it's the mundane, same old of school and having all my friends detached from me leaving me with nothing to do, but I've been mentally constipated lately. It's a goofy way to put it, but it pretty much sums it up. I've had so many thoughts, things I want to elaborate on, but I get stuck. Weird, chaotic stuff has been going on, and it's almost like I don't even know how to process it. One lesson I've had today goes a little something like this:

Life is an unknown to us. We think we've got it down pat, then a wrench hits the gears. You never know when your's could be done, or someone dear to you. This past year this has been prepped in me, this lesson. I've been slowly learning this simple lesson, and now it's time to attempt to put it into practice. I kind of hate the phrase life is short. Ask an 80 year old if that's true and I doubt they'll say yes. Just cause it goes by fast, doesn't mean it's short. But life is unpredictable, even with it's constants (yes, I do mean to spell it that way). So the lesson, in short, is this; You never know what it could mean to someone for you to tell them you love them. Pushing to show love in someone's life; to be the love in their life, could change everything.

The world goes mad over a day without coffee

This is so sad, i've been super creatively blocked, so much so, that i'm going back to unfinished poems to work on them, and if i'm lucky enough to make any progress i post them...for the most part, i haven't even finished the already unfinished ones.

The moral of the story kids: don't have a summer break in which you don't leave the state for more than a day.

I can't even form well organized sentences! School can't possibly be stiffling me this much already, can it?

Well, i have a better excuse for today; i didn't have my coffee.