All The Loves Before

Maybe I needed a wakeup call.
Though, I don't know what to.
What reality is the aching of my heart
revealing to me?

In one way, it's my hope...
Maybe it was too high,
or maybe I'm giving up too easy.
Maybe ... it wasn't true at all,
and the impending reality of it all falling through
causes me to grasp
at any shred of true hope left.

Maybe I'm being melodramatic,
and this is just a part of life, - loving and letting go.
And it's terribly too soon to say,
but it makes me scared at the thought
of ever trying again.

I thought I was in love
with every passing fancy over the years, 

some close and some distant admirations.
And it seems you might not fully know
the weight of your love,
til it's pouring out in endless tears that fall.
And see,
all the loves before
were never love at all.