The job search is such a bewildering and pressured endeavor. One's livelihood completely depends on it, and every job take follows one; plays into their future possibilities. In this day and age, you can't have high expectations or a simple understanding of it, and yet you need to look at it with simplicity. The simple fact of the matter is you can't always do what you want, and it's not even gonna be easy to get the stuff you don't want.
You have to consciously dis-acknowledge the implied value of the offered pay rate; it doesn't actually speak to your personal worth, no matter what society may passively convey. They should've told us, you can have a dream but you'll have to work your ass off to get there, and hope that no freak accidents happen. They should've told us it's a bad idea to get bored and flippantly try to do something different to satiate your young, flighty desires. Is it really just who we are, or is it a generational commit-a-phobia?
It's an uphill battle. I should've just gone with a technical skill...is there still time for that? I guess there would be, it's either that or work a bunch of random really terrible jobs that seem to torture your very existence. (It's okay with me if you think I'm just being dramatic, turns out I'm not okay with just doing "anything", as I once thought. I give myself credit for knowing that, now.) No matter how optimistic I've ever been in job searching, the actual task of it becomes overwhelming and the part of me that sees recurring facts, then defines the pattern - that part fights with the blind optimism.
I balance it out by telling myself I might have to be okay with the whole thing taking a while. And I'm going to have to suck it up and spend hours on dead-end pursuits, while holding onto the gleam in my eye that represents the zest for whatever it is I am made for.
