You Have Me

On the drive home tonight, I had a new revelation on a song. Or maybe just a reminiscence. I don't listen to worship music often in the car; I have to be in the mood. And I was, for Christian music, but also good music...Gungor. I wanted the first track on the album I have and then decided to let it play out. I tend to get pensive on long, late-night drives alone. I was sort of just letting the music roll over me. All of a sudden the words caught my dazed, road-focused attention. 

"my faith was torn to shreds,

heart in the balance, 

but you were there, 

always faithful, always good,"

I immediately thought of the truth of those words; it was something I knew. I can think of a time (or two) when my heart felt in the balance, and I can really only attribute surviving the pain to the Lord. Then came the chorus,

"you still have me, you still have my heart"

and it hit me again. See, the Lord and I have been having an ongoing conversation about my heart. He has been pressing on it, loving on it, cherishing it, fixing it, growing it, teaching me how to make it more like His; He's been talking to me specifically about it. For months.

For four years I've had this heart tattoo idea and I finally got it this past Monday. Over the last few months, during this conversation, the Lord commissioned that tattoo. I really, truly believe He spoke it to me, that I could get it now, and it would be a mark of His love for me; and that my getting it would be, in a small way, giving Him my heart. Not that I won't fail, or run away, or forget...again.

Tonight, the words to that song just sort of pierced me, one after another. Numerous times I've heard it, but never really got it the way I did this time. And it served as a reminder of how good and loving the God I know is.

Originally, I wasn't going to say what I got, rather keep it very secret - and I don't plan to show it off, or post pictures anywhere - but there's beauty in the walk with Him. He is good, and intimate. And that's selfish not to share.