I slowly settle in
to the reality
that has been the engine
of my pain all this time.
I wearily loosen my grip
on the dream I held
even so tightly still
And there's so much silence
but I have so many words
So few places to entrust them.
There aren't as many tears now
yet the same heavy sadness
burring on in my chest.
Even I question
if I'm just being dramatic
but
they say
the amount of pain
in healing
signifies
the amount of love
in falling.
My arrival in love
wasn't much of a fall,
more like the jog
that turns
mysteriously to a run.
Yeah, clumsy even.
It wasn't all easy
but it was good
and there was joy
and there was love.
Now
I sink in.
Speak of it
as something that has gone
though it hasn't at all
only sunk in
trying to hide
and pretend it isn't there
but I know.
So I guess
If I pretend too,
maybe one day
it will just
be gone.
