I'm wondering if maybe I'm just too young to care. Maybe I need to fall into a hole, and be pulled out first, before I can care. It makes me wonder, though, where is the line between freedom and recklessness? The line between apathy and refusing to be held down by fear?
I feel like I lack ambition, the only things I have ambition for are things that seem to be too much a fairytale to even bother thinking about. Now, even more so.
I want to change my mind, but something in my humanness tells me that people would judge me, and that that judgment would be too scary. But when it comes down to it, who cares? But that's what gets me into these messes in the first place, "who cares?".
I guess maybe I'm just too immature to make any kind of life decisions right now. Maybe I should just get a double major, some more education might set me right, right? Probably not. I feel like dropping out and becoming a nomad. I could contentedly work in a coffee shop for a few years, without many bills, it pays em.
No. I mean I really could be happy doing something like that, but it just reminds me that I do have at least one ambition. To be something more than I am, and to do it quickly. That might be my mistake.
