Tetris vs. Text-Twist....

So I've gotten a little bored of Tetris lately, because I've beat almost everyone on my friends list that plays it on facebook.

The only other internet game I can get stuck on playing is text twist. On good days, I have long streaks, on other days the game defeats me repeatedly. I got up to 40,000 or more on it just now, and I thought to myself I need to quit and go to sleep, but I'm on a hot streak...

and I went to close iTunes and just barely on accident closed the window of my game. Haha, God's telling me to go to sleep! So I got an all-time high score and I don't know what it is...I need a life.

And some sleep.

Marriage is SCARY

I had this almost fleeting thought the other day, as I was putting on my makeup in my makeup room. I looked over at my bed, and I thought about the last person that lived here. He lived here with his girlfriend. I thought to myself, "how in the heck did two people live here?" I mean, I love people, but I'd probably end up in an institution...or jail. (My apartment is 15x15 or something)

Then I thought to myself, "if I were married, I'd have to wake up next to someone everyday! And we'd have to share a bathroom, and a kitchen...and A BED!" For some reason, this idea stressed me out a lot. The level of invasion (aka sharing) of space sounds too intense to me.

Then I realized, it'll be okay when it's someone I don't mind spending a lot of time around. Someone who doesn't bother me when I spend hours on end with them. Someone like my best friend! So when I find my male [other] best friend, I'm sure all this stuff won't bother me.

We Were Unforgettable

if i cry when i think of you,
does it mean you've won?
not that it was a competition.

at times i wonder,
do you even remember us?
we were unforgettable.

you were once a big part of me,
what do i mean to you?

my guess, nothing.

things can't be the same,
cause we were playing a game,
and i don't do that anymore,
cause i learned my lesson before,
so go breaking other hearts,
blame your own brokenness,
and when the bleeding starts,
you'll learn as you clean up the mess.

That Face Stops My Heart

that face stops my heart,
and makes it hard,
then all falls apart,

those eyes halt my breath,
and close mine,
feels like death,

that mouth opens my lips,
draws out a sigh,
from which old love drips.

[Great] Chemistry

I've just been thinking about this today, a bit:
Can a relationship form where there is seemingly a lack of chemistry? I was trying to figure out why I wasn't really sure if I liked someone, and I realized, it's a lack of chemistry. I've never had that happen before, when interested in someone. And I think that doesn't work for me. I need somebody I can make laugh, and that can make me laugh; have fun with, and whatever else the times I've had good chemistry entailed. Boo.

On the other hand, it also sucks to have GREAT chemistry with someone and not be able to be interested in them! This is probably worse than wanting to like someone but not being able to (though they may sound synonymous, they are not). It's definitely worse, working so well with someone; getting along smoothly, and complimenting each other, but things just can't happen for whatever reason. Especially cause I'm usually awkward most of the time, and if I'm not...

I've had that happen a few times, rather than my first complaint.

I was also thinking, the other day, I have no clue when I'm flirting. I kind of wonder, when does it turn into flirting? If a man and a woman joke around or smile or whatever, is it automatically flirting? I mean, I don't think so. I don't give this too much thought; I'm not much of an intentional flirt, but then if I don't know when I'm flirting, I could be flirting in situations when I don't want to! Yikes. Interactions are tricky, ha!

Sometimes I let myself get stuck on stuff like this, and then I try to wrap my head around things I'm better off not trying to analyze because there's probably no rule. I always think I can analyze things, but not everything has one strict answer.

So I guess I'll go on flirting unknowingly! And wait to have great chemistry with someone again...gotta love great chemistry.

(I think I killed the word "chemistry" in relation to relationships...oops)

NAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nap nap nap nap nap nap nap nap nap nap nap nap nap nap nap nap nap nap nap NAP NAP NAP NAPNAPNAPNAPNAP!!!!!!!!!!!

I am this tiredly excited to take a nap.

Also, it is my favorite middle brother's birthday, he is rather cool and so I am particularly thankful for him today :)

Nap.

3 Hours = Structureless Nonse

That's about how much sleep I got today in total. I'm surprised I didn't make any dumber mistakes than I did! I could not sleep last night, despite the 2 calms forte I took at 10:30 before laying in bed for 3 hours without actually falling asleep.

I kind of hate anyone who's gotten to go to a twins game this season...kind of means I don't, simply because it's before the verb "hate", in case you were concerned or shocked...it's no fair! I want to go. I have this complex about it though, like my complex about movies. I usually hate seeing a movie with someone who's already seen it. I still can't say why, I couldn't really tell ya, but I almost feel that way about the Twins. I want to go though so I don't even care! TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME...for the love.

Crap, now I miss my big sister.

I am one of those people that decides what they're going to say, as they speak...I mean on one hand, it's good because you think quick on your feet, on the other hand sometimes you end up spewing nonsense and wondering if anyone even understood it, or if you've even made a point. That may or may not have been me at small group...but it's okay, I prefer being humored unless I can be let down gently.

I've realized that lately I've been stuck on this habit: my mocking voice is apparently always mickey-mouse-style...I don't know why. It's sort of a combination of that with the Pinocchio voice (the "i'm a real boy!" bit).

I am so ready for this semester to be over, that I am almost really to the point of not caring whether I ever get into the journalism school. Maybe that's a good thing? I don't work well under the "now or never" kind of pressure, so maybe leaning towards the apathy end of the spectrum will relieve some of the weight.

I was really tempted to not go to class today, and I went only to find out my project that I thought was due in a week and half is in fact due THIS thursday...Naturally, a near-panic attack ensued. I skipped my next class (for which I know nothing else is due the rest of the semester til the final exam), and went home and had my panic attack. It mainly consisted of blasting coldplay, and attempting to find anything I could on immigration related to minnesota.

Today was the 4th (May the 4th be with you, I found that funny) my last anything, I believe is the 15th...only 11 days til FREEEDDOMMMMMMMMMMM! Gah!

Now I need to go to sleep so that tomorrow I can be confident, awake, and put together...things that I almost always feel I am not...Tallee ho!