Though a thousand should fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. ... [His angels] will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.There was something so flooring to me; so undoubtedly strong about being so protected that you could not even stub your toe. For these eight years, that's how that verse has held me.
So don't say sorry to me as if someone's died; don't look at me, trying not to cry (unless you've been there). And don't think that I'm being nonchalant when I talk about it, because...I just sort of don't want to. And no one's died! I think that's the biggest part of why I haven't talked about it, I don't fear the danger, and I don't analyze or judge the cause; I feel the separation. A thing that it's fine to have been ignorant of, but now you know.
The real weight of it is that it's hard to be separated from someone you love. There's a heaviness that comes with fully acknowledging and realizing the time span that is a year, without seeing someone you love. It's something we're rarely faced with. It's okay to sympathize, empathize - whatever, but pray for the missing. Pray for the times when life for him will feel confusing because there are months on end, spent with faces that aren't family, though are loved ones. Pray for the times when a hug would be best, but cannot be.
And if you ask, know that if I cry it's because a year is a long time, not because I'm scared of being robbed of a life, but of the ache of being robbed of time.
For my C.B. (cuddle brother), will be counting the days til we can hug again.
